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Send back the clown: Robin Williams - 1951-2014

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Picture courtesy of HBO

The Pink Floyd album Dark Side Of The Moon contains, amongst others, a recording of Abbey Road studio doorman Gerry O'Driscoll saying "I'm not afraid of dying....You've got to go sometime", condensing into one soundbite the fact that death is, well, a fact of life.

Which doesn't make it any easier when it happens to a loved one or, simply, someone who made you smile. Robin Williams didn't just make me smile, he made me - and I'm not embarrassed to admit this - shed tears of laughter. Yes, I convulsed so much at his Live On Broadway 2002 HBO special that there were rivulets streaming down my face.

This, of course, may not be everyone's experience of him. That's comedy for you - one man's comic genius is another's annoying clown. Comedy is ridiculously subjective that way. But let's stop and consider Williams for a moment. He was the most exhausting of comics: a chat show appearance wouldn't just be a 'bit' or a plug for the latest movie, but an eruption of inventive, improvisation. Like the Pythons'Argument Clinic, you could get five minutes or the full half hour. You got what you paid for.

From his earliest TV appearance as the alien Mork (in Mork & Mindy and Happy Days), through his stand-up shows (including impromptu appearances at improv clubs) to his movies, notably Good Morning Vietnam, Williams as a comic was like the sun - a perpetual explosion of hydrogen, helium and plasma, inventing on the spot, seeing things for their intensely comic value that others might fail to address.

There was, of course, significantly more to Robin Williams than the TV specials he made for HBO, but I'll come on to those other things in a moment. Because his 1986 special A Night At The Met is possibly, probably even, the most complete 53 minutes of comedy you'll ever witness.

It is certainly the most perfect near-hour of stand-up comedy I've ever seen, embracing - in this order - alcohol, drugs, the Cold War, the Middle East, men's genitalia, what men do with their genitalia, pregnancy as a consequence, giving birth and raising the child, culminating with the realisation, that while you may have grand designs for your little one to go to Harvard, "you wake up and he's saying, 'do you want fries with that?'".

There are so many great lines packed into this one show that you have to watch it to catch them all. But let me give you two: [On gun control] "You have the right to bear arms or the right to arm bears, it's your choice!" and [on being addicted to cocaine] "Cocaine's God's way of telling you you have too much money".

16 years later, and with the wounds of 9/11 still fresh, Williams made Live On Broadway to much the same effect. Covering in two hours the zeitgeist of the day, from the potential taboo of airline security ("Why take away nail clippers? It's not like terrorists are going 'This is a hijacking - no one move or the stewardess loses a cuticle!'") to the villain of the hour ("Osama Bin Laden is a six-foot-five Arab on dialysis. Why is that so fucking hard to find?"), Williams brought levity to a country still in pain, in the very city where the pain was felt hardest.

Born in America's second city, Chicago - birthplace of the electric blues and equally electric comedy - Williams' comedy was unashamedly California-adopted liberal, applying a deliriously wicked way of cutting down pomposity and the absurdity of politics. He wasn't, though seeking revolution or even trying to offer scything commentary, Lenny Bruce-style, to the order of the day. It was, simply, straight-forward piss-taking. George W. Bush, in particular, was the richest of gifts:

"It doesn't scare me that Dubya waved at Stevie Wonder; that's OK. Stevie's only been blind since birth...! No, what scares me is that Dubya almost died from a fucking pretzel! They have billions of dollars in national defence, they want billions more, to up the stakes, and the president almost goes down from snack food!

The Secret Service are like 'Game's over man!''Gilligan's down! Gilligan's down! His own dogs didn't care! They were licking him for the salt!"

So the routine goes, comedian dies, comedian is declared comic genius, we all move on. Robin Williams transcended even the description "genius". His comedy was comedy on speed, an unfortunate reference, I know, given his own battles with drugs (he infamously shared a few lines of coke with John Belushi during his eventual fateful stay at the Chateau Marmont). But such was the intensity and the rapidity of his wit that it was easy to think, long after he'd become sober, that he was still on something.

Williams' unfettered comic creativity wasn't just limited to the stage of improv clubs and chat shows: most of his performance as Armed Forces Radio DJ Adrian Cronauer in Barry Levinson's Good Morning Vietnam was improvised, also drawing on his immeasurable talent for mimicry.

"Nobody else works with the inventiveness, the quickness and the zaniness of Robin Williams," producer Mark Johnson said at the time. "When he sat down in the control booth to do the scenes involving Cronauer's broadcasts, we just let the cameras roll. He managed to create something new for every single take." Cronauer - who had written the original story but envisaged something far more serious - distanced himself somewhat from Williams' portrayal. Williams, on the other hand, maintained that Cronauer was "pretty much the closest thing to me that I've ever done."

Picture: Esquire magazine

As a film actor, Williams divided opinion. His critics leaned heavily on the saccharine nature of disposable family fare like Hook, Jumanji and even Mrs. Doubtfire, suggesting that his film career drew an over-reliance on such roles. But to his proponents - and I'm one of them - there were moments of cinematic glory in Good Will Hunting, ToysDead Poet's Society, The Fisher King and Awakenings. And let's not play down the comedies - Aladdin, like Good Morning Vietnam, was Williams' film, even if he was represented by a purple cartoon genie.

It's often said that the hardest job for a straight actor is to do comic roles, but I've always argued that it's harder for a comedian to be accepted doing straight parts. Knowing what a manic comedy performer he was, the expectation of Williams making funny turns out of his appearances as creep-ahoy weirdos in Insomnia and One Hour Photo - both released in 2002, incidentally - was dashed by the intensity he applied in both parts. Indeed, the fact he was a comedian made them even creepier.

Arguably, his talent for improvisation added colour to his serious roles. In a 1979 New York Times review of his stand-up show, critic Janet Maslin noted how Williams was "at his very best when he seemed to be trying things out, measuring the audience's response, working in the most exciting way". This was at the height of Mork & Mindy's popularity, when Williams was "usually on view performing his material in a more polished form, and in neat, half-hour weekly instalments," concluding that "it's especially gratifying to watch him live dangerously."

And he did. Robin Williams' death at the age of 63 from an apparent suicide has been met by the media as the ultimate collapse of a struggle against lifelong "demons". The papers will no doubt commit think pieces to examine the rancid old 'tears of a clown' thesis underpinning all comedians.

Depression, however, isn't some convenient counter to a comic's humorous side, anymore than it is for a postman, nurse or any other profession. It just makes it harder to accept that someone who made so many people laugh until tears spouted from their eyes could, themselves, be battling an illness that literally destroyed the soul.

What a sad end to a life that gave so much fun. Shazbat.

Picture: Matt Munoz/Twitter



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If there was one happy aspect to Robin Williams' tragic death last week, it was the excuse it provided to rewatch his work, especially the somewhat prescient performance as emotionally struggling tutor, Sean Maguire, in Good Will Hunting.

But on a more mirthful note, it was Williams' stand-up performances that provided the most gleeful memories of the comedian, including the blisteringly funny A Night At The Met, in which some of the funniest observations came from his own generous experiences as an addict: "I had to stop drinking alcohol 'cos I used to wake up nude in my car with my keys in my ass! Not a good thing: 'Hi, can I help you?''No it's just flooded...I'll be OK...'".

So it is with some amusement that we hear that drink not only creates homicidal motorists, boorish after-hours kebab shop twats, and karaoke performances that should lead to legalised euthanasia, but that it also causes one-in-five of us to make ill-advised purchases with online retailers like Amazon and eBay.

As we all know, operating machinery under the influence of anything from wine gums to Night Nurse is to be avoided, but clearly no such warnings have been extended to computers and tablets. But according to research by the price comparison website Confused.com, British consumers under the influence are impulse-buying anything from holidays to washing machines after coming home from the pub.

The site's research reveals that a quarter of those who have shopped while they were literally dropping have spent anywhere between £100 and £200 online, while almost a fifth have spent upwards of £500, buying high-ticket items such as holidays, TVs and even washing machines. Amazon appears to bear the brunt (53%) of half-cut surfing, while clothing, rather worryingly, is the most popular item being purchased, along with shoes, which may explain some of the things you see in British pubs to begin with.

Bizarrely, the researchers found that people had bought obscure items as random as lobster pots (ten of), pie makers, diving equipment and folding ladders while drunkenly waving their credit cards about. Not surprisingly - and I can concur... - DVDs, Blu-ray Discs and CDs also figure amongst popular impulse purchases.

With more than three-quarters of the UK owning credit cards, and "Binge-Drink Britain" (copyright - all newspapers) at its merriest, the rather appropriately named Confused.com, says that more caution is required by those out on the lash: "Alcohol can cause people’s inhibitions to disappear," says the site's head of credit cards Nerys Lewis, "but people need to be aware of how their credit card spending when drunk could affect them in the long run."

Of course one thing the research doesn't tell us is how many people carry on buying their alcohol online while drunk, but with no shortage of wine and beer sites, not to mention alcohol price comparison sites to help, it's only a matter of time before someone develops a breathalyser app that doesn't let you use a mouse if you're over your limit.

Ding-ding - end of Round One

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Pic: BTRSELLER/Shutterstock
If you can accept the inclusion of a Monday night into the concept, the opening weekend of Premier League season 2014-15 has come and gone and already every pundit is installing Chelsea as champions. So, shall we just go straight to 2015-16 instead?  Well, no.

Because as, literally, all managers and players are saying in disjointed, clichéd unison, "it's a long season" - and they're right: at this stage of the campaign the horizon is as distant as the wisdom is unfounded.

This time last season, don't forget, few pundits were giving Liverpool a chance, and where did they end up at season's end? Some of these same "experts" also predicted a long and fruitful World Cup for Spain...

While it is true that there is already an ominous look of purpose about José Mourinho's side, there is also a look of earnest industry about Wenger's Arsenal, a look of renewed determination about Rodgers' Liverpool, and the same look of calm composure about Pellegrini's Manchester City. You might also note how van Gaal's Manchester United look as ruffled as Moyes' Manchester United did all season long.

But let's not get carried away. As much as it is richly enjoyable for us Chelsea fans to look at the Barclays Premier League table this afternoon and feel flushed by the obscurities of goal difference putting the Blues on top and van Gaal's behemoth not even in the top 13, "Played 1, Won 1, Pts 3" is hardly ranking of any note. There are 37 more games to come.

That said, while it is true that the opening weekend's fixtures are usually never more than an extension of the pre-season friendlies - fitness is still lacking, new positions and teammates still unsure of themselves, the transfer window is still unsettlingly open... - to see everyone in competitive action for real, provides some indication of what lies in store.

Let's start with the defending champions. Manchester City's 2-0 away win against Newcastle was enough to demonstrate, even in their opening game, that their eventual claim of the Premier League title in May wasn't totally by default.

The closing stages of last season were cagey, and one could argue that City only became champions because Liverpool - and Steven Gerrard in particular - handed them the title. But while it is harder to defend a title than take one, City will gain further strength from both a second summer under Pellegrini's calm preparation, the arrival of a few new faces (including Frank Lampard on loan), and the hope that Edin Dzeko will sign a new deal and commit himself to playing in one of the Premier League's most prolific strike forces.

What, then, of last season's unlikely runners-up? Losing Luis Suarez is both a blessing and a curse, but it's something Liverpool simply have to deal with. Splashing Barcelona's cash on what seems like most of the population of Southampton is not necessarily the solution, either, but Brendan Rodgers' primary task now is blending recruits like Southampton's Rickie Lambert and...er...Southampton's Adam Lallana in with Markovic, fresh from Benfica, often referred to as Portugal's answer to Southampton. Possibly.

Despite their appearance in England's brief cameo at the World Cup, Daniel Sturridge and Raheem Sterling will relish the opportunity to ask "Luis who?". They certainly and did so on Sunday against the surprisingly spirited South Coast club, who just happened to be Liverpool's opening weekend opponents. Despite the way last season ended, Liverpool have every right to have their tails up for this campaign. To be achingly close - and with immense credit, too. was tough but shows what this same team is capable of.

And then Arsenal. There is an air of familiarity around Wenger's understated confidence, and I wouldn't necessarily say that was a good thing, as this same emotion hasn't got them very far in recent years. Ending last season with the FA Cup and starting this one with the Community Shield (albeit winning over a markedly depleted Manchester City) will have done their spirit no end of good - when was the last time Arsenal, or anyone for that matter, won back-to-back trophies in consecutive competitive matches?

However, the Gunners should hold a torch up to their performance on Saturday against a managerless Crystal Palace, who still managed to frustrate until very late in the game. The scoreline flattered to deceive. True, Arsenal were missing Theo Walcott and their World Cup-winning Germans, but the big question this season - as with previous terms - is where is their prolific, goal-scoring centre forward? Wenger may exude an almost nonchalant air at times, but history has taught us that his club's supporters are anything but when that nonchalance comes across as miserly complacency.

Which then brings me to Manchester United. I feel certain to speak for many football fans - and obviously those who don't live in Surrey or actually support United - that last season's uncharacteristic bout of sustained disaster was quite amusing.

Yes, I know, a shame to see the dear old beast struggling, but then after two decades of relentless triumphalism with the commensurate hubris thrown in, it was refreshing to see United rendered human, after all.

I didn't, however, wish the public slaying that David Moyes went through, and I wouldn't wish the same on Louis van Gaal, either. The Dutchman can be a monstrous egomaniac, but then for me - as a supporter of a club managed by Mourinho - I can hardly focus the spotlight on that particular foible as complaint.

But to open your Premier League account with a home defeat to Swansea, with more or less every commentator reaching the same conclusion that this was more of the same, could not have been any worse if you'd imagined it. Losing by a single-goal margin is not the worst thing that can befall a team, but for Manchester United, doing so at home on Day 1 to Swansea (with the greatest of respect) will have had even the Brazilians - scorched, still, from their World Cup blitzkreig - smiling sweetly at someone else's disproportionate discomfort.

It would be insane to reach out for a panic button just yet, or even ensure it could be found in the dark, but there are players lacking in Manchester United's squad at the start of this season. And that's not something you could ever say about life under its previous regime...

So, then, what about my own club, Chelsea? Last night's performance at Turf Moor may have hinted at a team boasting the perfect balance of a Romanian gymnast, with a striker (Costa) actually capable of scoring goals rather than merely attempting to, and a playmaker in Fabregas easing the pain of the departed (though not far) Lampard. But at risk of being branded a cynic (oh, go on then), Chelsea have, previously, leaped out of the traps and won the Premier League title, and leaped out of the traps only to flounder after Halloween.

Facebook/Chelsea FC

There was much talk that Chelsea failed to win any senior silverware last season because they lacked strike power. Well that is partly true. But my bigger concern last season was their mentality. Defeats at Villa Park and Selhurst Park lent more to attitude that physical failings. Mourinho also has his work cut out keeping a huge squad happy, in particular Petr Cech as Thibaut Courtois continues to be groomed to be the number one No.1. He also needs to prevent Andre Schurrle from slipping away, as well as the increasingly sulky Oscar - whose club form dipped leading into the World Cup, only to be a part of that humiliated Brazilian team. Last night he looked even sulkier when he was substituted late in the game, even though with the game won it was only sensible to bring on Mikel and short up the defensive base of midfield..

So those are the supposed contenders for Top Four places: what about the rest? Will the relegation zone be exclusively claret-and-blue as Aston Villa, West Ham, Burnley and Crystal Palace all vie with each other for the trapdoor?

You can pundit all you want about who might go down and who might stay up, who might remain in mid-table mediocrity or, to look at that another way, take a workmanlike approach to being a Premier League team. One round of fixtures is not going to determine anything.

You could say that there are 20 teams who could end up anywhere, but you could reasonably expect the likes of Burnley, QPR and Leicester - newly arrived in the top flight - to labour, while the dysfunctions of incumbents like Palace, West Brom, West Ham and even Newcastle may prove telling.

However, let's at least get Round 2 under our belts before coming to any more strident conclusions, shall we?

Wish you WEREN'T here

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The peace is about to shatter. Next Monday will see many of my French colleagues (and, it would appear, neighbours) returning from the beach, having left for les grandes vacances on the stroke of August 1, vacated desk chairs swiveling, Looney Tunes-style, in their wake.

For the record (and especially if the boss is reading) I have been busy with all the important stuff that doesn't go away. That said, the quieter environment has afforded me the opportunity to fully appreciate what I've missed by not joining the August evacuation (a term I use with apologies to the constipated).

Let's start, then, on a gloomy note: the summer holidays are one of two peak periods each year for relationships to end and marriages to dissolve (the other being Christmas). This is due to couples who only see each other for dinner and weekends throughout the rest of the year suddenly being compressed into each others' lives for a fortnight in the same hotel room or holiday apartment. Throw in azure waters and idyllic sunsets, and thoughts that there could be more to life than this, and before the first layer of skin has peeled appointments with divorce lawyers and relationship counsellors are being made.

Nothing brings out bickering better than a holiday. Travel brings out the worst in people, in general, as anyone who travels regularly will attest, but it also brings out the worst in relationships.

A recent survey by a "relationship care" website (actually, an online sex toy retailer...) found that three-quarters of couples will have a barney within the first two days of their holiday. A large percentage - 42% - of arguments are caused by overspending, while getting drunk represented a third.

Other disagreements were over what to do each day, ogling the opposite sex (or indeed any form of flirtation - e.g. with hairy-chested waiters or push-up bra-wielding receptionists), moaning about being ill, taking too long to get ready, and forgetting to pack something vital. Then there are contretemps about male partners who bloke it out for the first week and go without suntan lotion...only to turn the colour of the Polish flag and need hospital treatment for sunstroke. Or the male partners who get bladdered every night and then wonder why their partners have moved into the inflatable plastic dinghy for the remainder of the holiday. Or the male partners who chose unfamiliar-looking seafood, and spend the first week retching into the Arnitage Shanks. Do you notice a pattern here?


Other niggles include a partner talking too much, being tired, being ill, being old, being unfit, faddy eating and that old holiday dust-up favourite, map reading. Indeed, whether it is Brits clogging up the A303 for a Devon 'staycation', the Dutch clogging up France with their caravans and Volvos, or the Germans clogging up the otherwise empty Dutch roads with their Mercedes and BMWs, road rage is just as commonplace inside the car as outside.

According to different consumer research, navigation is a particular painpoint for holidaying couples. Evidently, when forced to navigate via map, as opposed to GPS, 95% of men would prefer to go with their instincts and getting lost rather than listening to their other half. And, of course, it's never their fault...

It would be all too easy to say that for a peaceful holiday, ditch the car and just go for the simple taxi-airport-bus-hotel-beach/pool operation favoured by those annoyingly smug travellers who also pack everything they need for a two-week break into a bag the size of a 7-year-old's pencil case.

Yes, it costs a bit, but you're paying for some P&Q, not to mention lower blood pressure just at the time you need to enjoy your annual "chillax", as British politicians seem to think it is cool to say (it isn't).

That said, flying is not exactly stress-free, either: security will be a nightmare, you will have that child behind you or, worse, that git in front of you, his finger hovering over the 'recline' button as you take off, and you will feel like you need another holiday as soon as you've touched down from the current one.


However, that's assuming you got away in the first place. Often the first holiday arguments kick off before the suitcase has even been closed. With airlines restricting how much luggage you can take for free, if you're one of those people who has to travel with every shade of shoe from your own, personal Imelda Marcos-style walk-in wardrobe, you're already asking for trouble. The truth is, you can probably make do with just the pair you're wearing.

Assuming you've managed to pack for everyone, the next explosion will be over what time everyone needs to be up. Somee treat airports like a McDonalds - in principle, you breeze in, check-in, and are on your way in a single sequence. But others see them for the necessary evils they are. It doesn't matter what time your flight is, you will encounter a traffic jam; the security line will resemble a biblical exodus, and if you don't check-in online, you will - I assure you - end up in the middle seat no-one wants. With aforementioned child behind, and Captain Recline in front.

Don't, however, for one minute think the ordeal is over when you get to the airport, sans traffic. Because it will only then occur to you that a passport, and not your gym membership card, is the only form of acceptable identification for commercial air travel. Luckily the Law of Averages has determined that for every dimwit traveller in a party there will be a sensible one who remembers these things. Still, that won't prevent the "I thought you had them?" stand-up row in front of that lengthening line of batey-looking easyJet "speedy boarders".


So, then. Car it is. Except that if you're travelling with kith and kin, you are almost certainly likely to have an argument with someone else in the car. Britain's AA, together with market researchers Populus, found that for a start, two out of three cars will befall a row at some point on a long journey. Those aged between 18 and 24 seemed most likely to kick off, with the over-65s learning to sit in silence or suck on a Murray Mint to keep the peace.

Inevitably, the single-biggest cause of disharmony was navigation, with a passenger complaining about the driver's speed being the second most common complaint. Parents in the 35-44 age group were most likely to get wound up by noisy kids. Other moans included the driver shouting at other drivers, driving too slowly, the temperature inside the car, arguments over where to eat and what to listen to. Sound familiar?

From all this it might be tempting to think that there is no escaping rows while travelling with those you supposedly love. Well, yes and know. Experts suggest that a little bit of planning goes a long way: decide where you want to go before you set off, if the "what are we going to do today?" question is a trigger for strife. Likewise, to avoid fights over spending, set a budget and try and limit yourself to only so much each day.

All very sensible, I'll agree. But perhaps there is only one truly sensible way to stay happy and harmonious on holiday. Well, two. One, don't go on holiday at all, although for some people the mere thought of not getting time off will lead them up the nearest clock tower with a high-powered rifle faster than you can say Benidorm; and, Two, go away on your own. I can personally guarantee that holidaying alone cures 99.9% of all known arguments.

Grace and danger: the Jeff Buckley legacy

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You all know about the 27 Club, right? Influential musicians like Hendrix, Morrison, Winehouse, Cobain, Drake and Joplin, who all died at the age of 27. Cut down in their prime by, mostly, rock-and-roll misadventure, only to emerge from death even more greater influence than they applied in life.

Jeff Buckley was 30 when he died in 1997, accidentally drowning, apparently, while swimming fully clothed in a Memphis tributary of the Mississippi. Aside from being older, he differed for the 27 Club by the fact that he had only released one studio album at the time he died.

That album was Grace, which was released 20 years ago yesterday. It is a landmark album, but for all the muso acclaim it has garnered, just one of its songs will ensure Buckley is forever regarded amongst the greatest artists of all time. Incredible. One song. And he didn’t even write it.

The song is Hallelujah. It was written and originally recorded in 1985 by Leonard Cohen, an obscurity on the second side of his Various Positions album. In 1991, the Velvet Underground's John Cale recorded it for a Cohen tribute, stripping it down from the synth-heavy original. In 1992, Buckley was cat-sitting for a friend in Brooklyn and happened to discover the tribute album, coming across the "ode to life and love" that he considered Hallelujah.

His own recording would become a love letter to Cohen, taking the Cale cover and infusing it with an extraordinary soul and emotional heft. Even now, the countless wannabes who choose it as their bid on trashy Saturday night TV talent shows will refer to it as Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah (mind you, there are also those who refer to it as "that song from Shrek"), such was the distinction that effectively made the song his own, and staple of weddings, funerals and break-up mix tapes.

Grace is more than just one song, of course, but that song continues to carry the torch of legacy for the album itself, an album Bowie himself once said was one of the ten albums he'd take to a desert island, an album that has been compared, favourably, to Radiohead's OK Computer (Thom Yorke is said to have been so impacted by seeing Buckley perform in Highbury that he went straight into a studio to record the vocals to Fake Plastic Trees).

Grace's influence can be heard in the careers of Elbow, Coldplay, Keane, Bon Iver, Rufus Wainwright (another Hallelujah coveree), Muse, Arcade Fire and even Jamie Cullum, who covered Lover, You Should Come Over. The irony of all this is that Grace was, initially, something of a commercial flop, only getting as high as 149 in the Billboard chart in the US. Even some reviews were mixed, some noting that in the-then era of grunge, such a disjointed album of styles was indicative of a career debut lacking focus.

It's appreciation since tells a different story. By the end of 1994 it had been named Best Album of the year by Mojo, 9th out of 1994's Top 50 in Melody Maker, and featured prominently in the annual album charts of countless other music magazines. With the benefit of history, Grace has appeared even higher in 'best of' lists,  including Rolling Stone's The Essential Alternative Recordings of the 90s and No.33 in the NME's 100 Best Albums Ever poll, even beating Oasis'(What's The Story) Morning Glory and Joy Division's Unknown Pleasures. It has even been chosen for preservation by the US Library of Congress.

Jeff Buckley had music in his veins from the start. He also had the heart-wrenched platform to write an album like Grace, too. Born in Anaheim, California - home to Disneyland - on November 17, 1966. In principle, his earliest years should have been surrounded by music, courtesy of Buckley's father, the acclaimed singer-songwriter, Tim Buckley. However, Buckley senior walked out on his six-month-old son and mother when Jeff was still a baby. He died of a drug overdose when Jeff was just nine.  "I knew him for nine days," the younger Buckley would later tell music journalist Ted Kessler. "I met him for the first time when I was eight-years-old over Easter and he died two months later."

In the same interview with Kessler, Buckley said of himself and his father: "We were born with the same parts but when I sing, it's me. This is my own time." Grace clearly was, but behind the variety of songs - a range spanning pop, alt-rock and even chilled-out lounge - sits a bedrock of deep emotion. It is perhaps too easy and tempting to read into songs like Last Goodbye and that much-covered paean to narcotic bliss, Lilac Wine.

But there was clearly something about Grace that suggested a musician full of untethered potential and promise. He was already working on that difficult second album when died. Those who doubt the reverence to which Jeff Buckley has been awarded in the 17 years since his death and the 20 years since Grace appeared see him as a mere interpreter of others' styles. And on the limited evidence alone - just the one studio album - it's possible to see where this perspective come from.

However, the paradox is that there is both commonality and variety at work - Buckley's remarkable vocal range and timbre throughout, and his ability to adapt his guitar playing to enhance the emotion each song on Grace was trying to convey.

One can only wonder what that second album would have given us and, indeed, the last 20-years. We shall never know, of course, but that should not and does not diminish the singular impact of an album that rightfully takes prominent place in record collections as the sole legacy of career that tragically never came to be.

A knee-jerk reaction to air travel

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Back in the year I was born, 1967, a year in which everything was supposed to be cool and groovy, psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe developed their Social Readjustment Rating Scale to measure life's most stressful events.

As a result, they compiled the Top Ten causes of stress, which were:
  1. Death of a spouse 
  2. Divorce 
  3. Marriage separation 
  4. Jail term 
  5. Death of a close relative 
  6. Injury or illness 
  7. Marriage 
  8. Fired from job 
  9. Marriage reconciliation 
  10. Retirement
This being 1967, mass air travel as we know it today hadn't been invented. Those who did fly around the world wore suits and ties and smoked pipes. It was possible to carry luggage on to planes without first having to take off your trouser belt and risk dropping your trousers in the process. You didn't have to decant your personal toiletries into a clear plastic bag so that your fellow travellers could see you were travelling with hemorrhoid cream. And you certainly didn't have to worry about radicalised lunatics with high explosives lining their underpants.

I'd imagine, then, that if Holmes and Rahe were to recompile the list today, the number one Most Stressful Thing Of All would be travel and, specifically, air travel. 47 years ago it was civilised. Essentially, the only people who flew anywhere then were film stars and Princess Margaret. The food was served on bone china and the flight attendants (or "stewardesses" - remember that name?) offered you a selection of cigarettes from various brands, which you would then smoke until the plane landed in New York or Nassau, which were the only places any airline flew to.

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But today, thanks to airlines making air travel ridiculously cheap, commercial aircraft are now crammed to bursting point. And because of rising fuel costs, they have to go beyond bursting point to cram even more people in to make their so-called budget fares more economical. Planes are now so tightly packed that strangers enjoy more intimate thigh-to-thigh action than most married couples.

In America things are even worse. Ever since 9/11, when domestic air travel stopped being as free-and-easy as hopping on a Greyhound bus, and started being an increasingly fraught affair, airlines have downsized their planes, swapping old gas-guzzlers for smaller, more fuel-efficient planes, and at the same time, cut the costs of managing them. 

Thus, some carriers now charge for all baggage, forcing more people to take more carry-on luggage, causing more delays in planes taking off as long lines form while these idiots try and stuff bags that should sustain a year's worth of travel into overhead lockers. Then there is the smell of brought-onboard pizza because airlines have stopped in-flight catering. Soon we will have to put up with dickhead salesmen spending the entire flight yahing on their mobile phones because airlines figure they can make a buck or two out of that.

All in all, then, joining the jet-set these days is more hell than heaven. Which is why it is perfectly understandable that people will resort to gadgets like the Knee Defender, the $21.95 doobry that caused a United Airlines flight from Newark, New Jersey, to Denver, Colorado, to be diverted to Chicago the other day. 

The device - a small plastic brace, the size of a door key - clips on to an economy class seat-back tray table to prevent the seat in front from reclining. Allegedly it had been installed by a gentleman in Row 12 to prevent the passenger in Row 11 from encroaching on him, his tray table and his laptop. When he refused to remove the clips (after, apparently, requests from cabin crew) the enraged Row 11 passenger chucked a glass of water over him. First world problems, eh?

There will be, no doubt, sympathies on both sides: on a four-hour flight to Denver, some will want to kick back and sleep their way through the journey. Others will want to make use of the relative peace and quiet to get on with work. A compromise must be found. 

Although the two passengers in question were both in 'premium economy' seats - a slight trade-up for cash for a little more legroom - they were still vying for the dwindling amount of economy class space on board planes caused by airlines trying pack more people in. 


Picture: United Airlines
According to TIME magazine senior editor Bill Saporito, domestic airlines in the US - and in other regions, too - are adding more rows to their economy class sections to increase turnover.

This means, he says, the seat "pitch" (i.e. the space between your knees and the seat in front) on United Airlines' fleet of Boeing 737s is 31 inches in Economy and 34 inches in the premium economy section, Economy Plus. The 34-inch seat pitch used to be the Economy section.

Such cramped conditions might be OK for hour-long commuter flights, but planes like the 737 and Airbus A320/321/319/318 family are being used on longer, cross-country routes, as was the case in the United flight to Denver.

Something has to give - and the reclining seat is the likely candidate. Last year the flight price comparison website Skyscanner found that nine out of ten passengers would gladly do away with reclining seats if it meant they could enjoy a meal or watch a video on the tablet without being forced into having their tray table cut them in two. Cabin crew like the idea as well, as they invariably are the ones having to extinguish arguments between niggling passengers. The major US domestic airlines have banned the Knee Defender, but this incident has reopened the debate on flying etiquette - as well as highlighted the fact we're putting up with increasingly inconsiderate fellow passengers. 

Squabbles, or at least passive-aggressive behaviour over reclining seats, middle seat arm-rest ownership and window blind opening (or closing) have long been ever-present barriers to "sitting back, relax and enjoy the flight", as pilots always patronisingly emplore us to do.

With more of us travelling, and most of us flying in economy, with more of us...er...carrying a few pounds, 'seat spillage' has become another source of altitude attitude. Southwest Airlines in the US has tried to address this with its "Customers of Size Policy", the hilarious, politically correct attempt to deal with wide-bodied customers "...who encroach upon any part of the neighboring seat(s)" encouraging them to "...proactively purchase the needed number of seats prior to travel in order to ensure the additional seat(s) is available". Helpfully Southwest explains that the acknowledged border that should not be crossed is the armrest - "considered to be the definitive boundary between seats". Most importantly, Southwest says, the policy "ensures that all Customers onboard have access to safe and comfortable seating". Hmmm...

As someone who is, ahem, somewhat less than compact, I am more conscious than most not to encroach. I go to considerable expense, sometimes, to ensure I have a window seat, from which I have some space to lean into and out of the shoulder width of my neighbour. This does, though, render me with back pain and the row itself looking like Picasso's Guernica.

Daily Mirror/East News
But at least it's not life threatening. Earlier this month we read about four-year-old Fae Platten who went into anaphylactic shock on a Ryanair flight from Tenerife to the UK after a passenger opened a bag of peanuts. This was despite the entire cabin being informed before takeoff that nuts would not be available on the flight, and the crew asking passengers not to consume any nut-based food throughout the journey due to Fae having a severe and potentially life-threatening nut allergy.

Still, that didn't stop one passenger a few rows away - who was either stupid or selfish, or both - from opening a bag of nuts, releasing nut dust into the cabin environment and into Fae's direction. After passing out, she had to be revived with an adrenaline injector before being taken to hospital.

All these examples merely demonstrate what I've long felt, that travel brings out the worst in people, and air travel in particular. How often do passengers feign ignorance at being told a plane will board by row number, only to charge the gate like the Pamplona bull run? How often do travellers knowingly take-up all the overhead locker space simply to avoid the relative inconvenience of waiting a few minutes at the other end for their bag to appear on the carousel? And don't get me going about the gentleman last Saturday morning in the row in front of me who spent the entire flight from Paris to London loudly clearing his nasal passages rather than requesting a Kleenex from the cabin steward.

Unless you have the privilege of flying in the posh seats (and for that you must be either minted, have a very generous boss, or have somehow wangled an upgrade), going anywhere by plane has become torture. It is no longer a symbol of glamour, something frequent flyers react to every time someone makes those "aren't you lucky to be flying all over the place!" remarks.

We're not. Trust me on this. It really isn't better to travel than to arrive. The sole objective any air passenger sets for themselves these days is getting it over as soon as possible.

Time to throw in the towel on the Ice Bucket Challenge

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Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or motor neurone disease, depending on which side of the Atlantic you hail from, has had millions of people throwing buckets of ice-cold water over themselves for their Facebook friends to gasp, giggle and take a small degree of sadistic pleasure over.

Since July 29, the ALS Association has received a record $94.3 million in donations, fuelled by the flow of freezing water splashing all over social media. Brilliant. But now it's time to stop - the water. Please.

Much like 'Movember', in which men - in particular, those apparently ill-equipped to do so - grow moustaches to raise awareness for the equally worthy cause of prostate cancer, the "ha-ha" social media value of flinging the eau glacée is in danger of being stretched too far.

Social media itself is to blame: every time you go on Facebook, someone is chucking a bucket of the cold stuff over themselves (having first made the obligatory challenge to three more challengees).

As with all charitable acts, credit to them. But at risk of being both a killjoy and treading on topical sensitivities, the Ice Bucket Challenge is now resembling a non-stop stream of jihadist propaganda videos: first the index finger-aloft pontificating to camera, then the grisly act. You know what I mean.

While we will, hopefully, never become desensitised to the truly murderous footage coming from Syria and Iraq, the light-hearted shock value of the Ice Bucket Challenge is starting to dry out.

It doesn't help that, despite the enormous sums of money it has raised for ALS, some are having their frigid 30 seconds and NOT donating to an ALS charity. According to a poll in The Independent newspaper, more than half of Brits taking the challenge haven't made a donation afterwards as required, while another half didn't even know what all these wannabe snuff videos were in aid of. Worse still, over a third of those who responded to the poll said they'd only taken part in the challenge to gain attention on social media.

ALS is a serious condition, but maybe the most humane thing - for the rest of us - would be to spare us the sight of people getting drenched in the name of it, and just hand over a cheque. Privately...

Revolution No.9

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I'll admit it. I was wrong. Pretty wrong, actually. When I wrote, in January 2011 (Shut that window, mother, it's freezing out), that Chelsea's £50 million acquisition of Fernando Torres "represented good business", I couldn't have predicted as poor a return on the investment as just 46 goals out of 172 appearances. No excuse from club, player and fan alike can mask the fact that the player simply hasn't delivered on what his £175,000-a-week contract prescribed.

Picture: @Torres/Twitter
As Torres commences his two-year "loan" spell at Milan (i.e. the remainder of his Chelsea contract), it's hard to really equate who the actual winner is. Certainly not the club that shelled out a league record fee for the player, evidently on yet another whim of the club's owner, who'd seen Torres put two past Chelsea for Liverpool in the November and on that evidence decided to buy him two months later.

Though hardly an impulse purchase, it was a foolhardy rush of blood to the wallet that can be implicated in the sackings of Carlo Ancelotti, André Villas-Boas and Roberto di Matteo, who failed to wring any noticeable goal-scoring out of the centre forward. Not even Torres' former Liverpool boss, Rafa Benitez, was able to coax the player's once mercurial marksmanship out of him and that, presumably, was all Chelsea had brought him in to do.

In all honesty, the blame for Torres should probably be spread evenly. If the player wasn't up for it, he shouldn't have made the move to London only to spend the next three years moping about. And if the player wasn't right, why did the club go through the due-diligence - including a medical - only discovering after making Torres their staggeringly record signing that he lacked the mental fortitude to deliver?

This might sound harsh, but at an instant, we've seen the difference in Diego Costa. His goals so far - even his attempts on goal - have been swiftly considered and decidedly taken. No last-minute crises-of-confidence and a wasted flick to an advancing teammate. No. Ball at his feet and bam! It took Costa just 17 minutes before scoring his first competitive goal for Chelsea. And Torres?

Picture: @milanello/Twitter
The Spaniard's move to Italy, where sometimes mediocrity can be easily camouflaged by the aura of Serie A, will probably take off him whatever burden was preventing him from shining at Chelsea.

That said, Torres' body language on arriving for his medical at La Madonnina clinic didn't look any different to that with which he has lurched around for Chelsea, resembling a teenage girl who has been barred from going out on a Monday night.

As footballers are prone to do, he's at least talking a good game at the start of his career with the rossoneri. "I can't wait to start the new season," he said this morning at Milan's Linate airport, adding, pointedly, "I have already spoken with coach Inzaghi - he understands what it is to be a striker."

Being the master of political doublespeak that he is, José Mourinho has remained remarkably conciliatory towards Torres' departure (as he was towards Romelu Lukaku's).

"So if he wants to leave", Mourinho said this week, "I believe that [it] is to try to be happier than he was in the last couple of years." That is the first tacit admission by anyone at Chelsea that Torres was anything less than happy, which draws some doubt on Mourinho's following statement: "This is a very human club in the way the club approaches this kind of situation," he said prior to the Milan move becoming public.

From a fan's point of view, Stamford Bridge has been a very compassionate place when it comes to Torres. We have wanted nothing but for him to do well, willing him on in the final third, feeling his frustration when his runs have come to nothing, cheering in encouragement at the mere sight of him warming up on the touchline. Like the club, we have even been prepared to see the likes of Sturridge and Lukaku move on in frustration in the hope that Torres might come good.

It would be wrong to blame the Torres experience solely on the folly of Abramovich's millions. Go back in the history of any club and there will be expensive mistakes. Chelsea certainly made plenty of them long before the Russian came along (Chris Sutton anyone?). But the magnitude of the mistake - this time was in a different class - £50 million in fee and roughly a further £33 million in wages.

For Chelsea, sadly, the only net benefit from the Torres experience is that it should provide the club with an expensive reminder of how what glitters isn't always gold.

...and breathe. The frenzy is over.

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It's OK. You can come out now. The summer transfer window has closed. The madness is over.

All the wheeling-and-dealing has been done. Agents can hang up their multiple mobile phones, until January, and count all that lovely commission, reward for a job well done in providing sport's most ridiculous matchmaking service.

Yesterday's deadline day was no different to any other: like the outbreak of a war, full of rumours, crackpot theories and even the odd real development. Twitter only added to the confusion, with dodgy half-sightings of players at airports and helicopter pads, along with cheesy 'thumbs-up' pictures during medicals. Hats off, then, to broadcaster Danny Kelly for encouraging Twitter posts of back gardens, local grounds and city parks with reports along the lines of "no transfer activity here".


The only thing noticeably absent yesterday was the actual transfer window - the driver's-side portal of Harry Redknapp's Range Rover that football's very own Del Boy is usually seen leaning out of, declaring, optimistically, "well we think the boy is on his way, but there are still a few loose ends to tie-up". You know, like a contract.

The transfer window deadline day is football's equivalent of doing all your Christmas shopping at 4pm on Christmas Eve. Your purchases will, probably, bring momentary delight and fleeting relief. No disrespect to those bought in the final hours of yesterday evening, but some acquisitions were emergency colouring sets bought at the Esso garage in case of unexpected Boxing Day visitors.

This summer's window has seen a whopping £835 million spent by the Premier League clubs, with Manchester United shelling out more than £150 million alone - the highest gross transfer spend in a single window by any club, according to Deloitte - and seemingly reversing the resistance to "kamikaze" spending Sir Alex Ferguson once branded transfer window splurges of old.

Time will only tell as to whether Louis van Gaal has been spending his way out of trouble with Herrera, Shaw, Rojo, Di Maria, Blind, and - because clearly he didn't have enough talent up front - bringing in Radamel Falcao from Monaco on a season-long loan that will probably cost United well above the £300,000 a week they're paying Wayne Rooney to, now, sit behind him.

From one perspective, Manchester United is once more the envy of all clubs around it. But given the apparent resistance to van Gaal's methods so far this season, you have to wonder how he's going to gel together his own version of los galácticos, especially with questions remaining about their defensive capabilities. Unless Manchester United really are going to play all ten outfield players up front, that is.


As Falcao was arriving in the north-west, the Manchester-born Danny Welbeck was heading south-east, seemingly breaking the legacy of United nurturing homegrown talent, and providing another [legitimate] excuse for Arsenal fans to grumble about Arsène Wenger's apparent indecision.

If Welbeck's transfer to Arsenal had been the source of protracted, summer-long negotiations for a player long tracked by the club and then concluded at the 11th hour (reminiscent of Ashley Cole's 2006 deadline day move from Arsenal to Chelsea), then the last-minute nature of it would have been somewhat justified.

But with Giroud injured, and the club simply too late to gazump Chelsea's acquisition of Loic Remy from QPR, Arsenal only have themselves to blame for Welbeck being the closest yesterday's panic buying came to my Christmas Eve analogy.

Most will be sure that it wouldn't have been Welbeck's own preference, either, but for a player wrongly but inevitably associated with Manchester United's woes last season and the start of this, it could be argued that Arsenal have thrown him a lifeline. Then again, you could say Welbeck has thrown one to Arsenal.

And what of the others? Louis van Gaal's spree may have eclipsed all others, but that still leaves some £685 million spread across the Premier League's 19 other clubs. Down the M62, Liverpool have been cashing in on the Suarez by raiding Southampton for Adam Lallana (£25 million) and Dejan Lovren (£20 million), Benfica for Lazar Markovic (£20 million) and, perhaps, riskiest and most audacious of all, Mario Balotelli for a mere £16 million (though that doesn't include the cost of insuring him, fully comp...). And if Sunday's performance at White Hart Lane was anything to go by, Balotelli - if he can be kept away from fireworks and other distractions - could prove to be the missing piece of a very exciting attacking line-up indeed.

I can't help but feeling just a little smug about my own team, Chelsea. Some might say that is the nature of Chelsea fans in general, but Chelsea's transfer dealings this summer have arguably been the smartest of all clubs.

Diego Costa was already on his way from Atletico Madrid before he'd even left for Spain's disastrous World Cup campaign, and the Blues' smart approach for Cesc Fabregas not only plugged the creative gap vacated by Frank Lampard, but has already been instrumental in Costa's impressive four goals from three appearances.


No one realistically considers Didier Drogba's return to the club as anything more than one of affection, but with the snap purchase of Loic Remy to replace Torres, Chelsea have some presence again up front. It is, of course, far too soon, to talk of titles, but Chelsea's balance is at last pleasing. What isn't however, is their squad husbandry. Whereas most other Premier League clubs seem to have managed to loan out three or four players at the very least, Chelsea have a ridiculous 19 players being borrowed elsewhere.

Picture: The Times

Like Chelsea, Manchester City also did their business early and could benefit from the earlier settling in of new players like Eliaquim Mangala and Fernando, while accepting their Fair Play requirements, trimming their squad efficiently and quickly, or shoring up existing players to new contracts.

So what about elsewhere? It was certainly a fantastic day for Hull City, with Steve Bruce bringing in Uruguayan striker Abel Hernandez from Palermo, West Ham's Mo Diame, Southampton's Gaston Ramirez and Newcastle's under-rated Hatem Ben Arfa. Of course, for a club like Hull, with the acquisition comes the expectation but outside the notional Top 4, Hull's transfer window certainly caught the eye.

A fresh, £3 billion television deal has swolen the Premier League clubs' coffers, which goes to explain how this summer's transfer window in England was double that of  Spain's La Liga (£425 million) and almost quadruple that of Italy's Serie A (£260 million), with the German Bundesliga shelling out a similar amount. What a difference four years makes. 2010's transfer window was a considerably modest affair amongst all clubs in the so-called elite, as the global recession took its toll.

As to whether the good times are back again, spending's one thing, it's what the purchases do once they've been unwrapped that counts.

Long live the king: Robert Plant - Lullaby and...The Ceaseless Roar

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In an excellent recent interview with Uncut magazine, Robert Plant was depicted walking through the remains of Ludlow Castle in Shropshire. Ludlow is a place I know well, having spent the first year of my career in the pretty - and now gastronomically-engorged - market town on the Welsh border.

The castle itself holds a strategically commanding view over the River Teme and into the Welsh hills, where famously, Led Zeppelin disappeared to get their heads together and creatively recharge while on hiatus from marauding through the western hemisphere.

Uncut’s location for the photoshoot and interview was, then, perfect: the still-leonine king, surveying a more modest kingdom to the one he once ruled.

Moreover, Plant is seemingly content with his world, a 66-year-old rock god making jokes about his entitlement to free senior citizen concessions. This from the onetime viking warrior who travelled across land and sea in a Boeing 707 known as ‘The Starship’.

There is, of course, the slightly thorny issue of Jimmy Page appearing to accuse Plant of "playing games" over committing to one last, lucrative Led Zeppelin crusade. "I'm not my brother's keeper,” he told the magazine in an attempt to defuse things. "And he, really, as a pro, should know better than that... I feel for the guy. He knows he's got the headlines if he wants 'em. But I don't know what he's trying to do. So I feel slightly disappointed and baffled."


The point of all this is that Plant is actual more than comfortable in his more modest kingdom today. The days of the ‘Riot House’ Hyatt Hotel on Sunset Boulevard being Zeppelin’s own Xanadu have long gone, as has the Boeing. Today he and his band The Sensational Shape Shifters tour by train and evoke a camaraderie more akin to Robin Hood's Merry Men. Having seen them twice this summer - in Paris and then three weeks later at the Montreux Jazz Festival - it’s clear that this is Plant’s court now.

Plant hasn’t, however, completely abandoned Led Zeppelin: his live set contains quite a number of the band's songs. Some, like Going To California and What Is And What Should Never Be, were recreated in much their original form. While others - notably Rock and Roll - were infused with the world music vibe that pervades Plant’s new album, Lullaby and…The Ceaseless Roar, released today, and which he recorded with the Space Shifters.

It’s a product of both contrasting textures and ethnicity, a blend of African rhythms, Celtic adventure and Middle Eastern exotica. And it starts with Little Maggie, a song from 1948 by two brothers, Carter and Ralph Stanley, from the Clinch Mountains of Virginia.

It is typical of Plant's latter work - taking something old and blending it with seemingly incongruous ingredients to turn it into something which looks exotic and tastes sublime. This, on Lullaby’s opener, Juldeh Camara - the Gambian who plays the single-stringed riti fiddle - blends with Plant’s breathy vocals to reinvent American bluegrass as a music form from thousands of miles away.  


The irony of this is that Plant describes Lullaby as something of an English homecoming. Having spent the last few years bi-located in the UK and Austin, Texas, where he was in a relationship with the musician Patty Griffin, his return to the West Midlands he grew up in has provided fresh perspective - and a wider palette to choose from.

"Now I have a whole index, an absolute rainbow, of influences,” he said recently. "I need to talk about what's going on in my life, in my lap, speaking from my experience; it's far more honest and much more appropriate.” In this spirit Rainbow - another track previewed on the summer tour - takes a gentle and reflective romantic tone, pleasant while the brooding, piano-based ballad A Stolen Kiss, draws on Plant’s break-up with Griffin.

Break-ups are always inspiring, but rather than being Plant’s own maudlin Blood On The Tracks or Face Value, there is a sense of renewed freedom in Lullaby, even playfulness. Thus, Turn It Up finds Plant’s current guitar muse, Justin Adams, having fun Bo Diddley riffing on a song about the great American road trip, "I’m lost inside America…I’m stuck inside the radio, turn it on and let me out!”, touring through the South with nutjob Bible Belt radio stations for amusement.

Over the last two or three solo albums, Adams has been, to a certain extent, Plant’s musical director. Like another former guitar-playing sidekick, a clever sorcerer of influences. “He saved my life, musically,” Plant recently said of Adams in an interview with the Daily Telegraph’s Neil McCormack. "His contribution, as a positive force in my time, has been second to none,” noting “he doesn’t think the guitar begins and ends with Clapton, Beck and Page.”

That’s no dig at Page, or any of the other two former Yardbirds. It’s simply Plant’s declaration that his musical life has been a journey, one that started in Birmingham as a teenager, seeing blues legends like Son House and Bukka White bring their Mississippi blues to the English industrial heartland, and which now comes to a 10th solo album featuring afro-beat tracks like Arbaden (Maggie’s Baby) which includes the Delta-like line “I’m going down to the station with my suitcase in my hand”.

Lullaby and...The Ceaseless Road is by no means the perfect. Somebody There and the decidedly soft rock House Of Love nod back to the material Plant was producing in the immediate years after Led Zeppelin’s demise - slick 1980s, MTV-friendly pop. They’re not bad, but far less interesting than the diversity elsewhere, and stronger tracks like Embrace Another Fall, a powerful blend of tribal rhythms and walloping guitars or, arguably, the standout of the record, Up On The Hollow Hill (Understanding Arthur), with a searing Saharan heat evoked by Adams’ guitar.

Plant has suggested - possibly mischievously so - that this could be his last album, but I don’t think so. Instead of reaching the end of the line, there is a curiosity, still, in him to discover more and encounter new. His live shows this summer weren’t farewells, or even grand, O2-sized attempts to recreate past glories. “It seems to have some sort of finality,” he says of his journey, but that doesn't mean it's over. Long live the king.

Try to keep up - you're on Valley time

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Apple Watch picture courtesy of Apple

The irony wasn't lost on me: just as Tuesday's Apple event was getting underway at what appeared from the air to be a large crime scene tent in Cupertino, I was just a few miles down the road at the Intel museum, looking at, in many respects, the history of Silicon Valley.

© Simon Poulter 2014
The museum tour commences in front of a giant photograph of the company's original staff - men in suits and ties, and a large and progressively encouragingly group of female employees in beehive hairdos and horn-rimmed spectacles. That was 1968. 46 years ago, perhaps, but a blink of an eye in a part of the world that still boasts the largest distribution of dinosaur fossils.

It's one of the things you are conscious of when visiting America in general: time and history are relative. Years ago I was with a group of American journalists visiting Bruges, where we went past what is believed to be the world's first stock exchange, the bourse, which opened in 1309. They genuinely appeared to struggle with the concept of 1309.

And yet here in Silicon Valley, ten years is a lifetime. When I moved into my Sunnyvale apartment almost 14 years ago there were protests - not against me, you understand - but against the condominium complex which had been built on the site of one of the last of the town's original agrarian cherry orchards. That was when I realised that Silicon Valley, as a concept, dated back no further than the 1960s - and I had grown up in a suburb of London that had evolved during London's great concentric expansion in the 1930s.

Since I was last here five years ago companies have come and companies have gone. Shiny corporate headquarters have sprung up while others have been torn down to make way for $3,000-a-month condos catering for the junior end of the Valley's über-wealth scale. Even the San Francisco 49ers have moved from San Francisco to the recently inaugurated Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara.

The contrast of fortunes is even greater since 2003 when I left the Valley to move back to Europe. Then, the local economy was still reeling from the twin effects of the dot com bubble bursting and the post-9/11 impact on Bay Area companies.

In 2003 companies like Sun Microsystems and Palm were tech bellwethers. Today, neither exist. Yahoo! was the search king, and Google was simply a start-up built around smart mathematics. Facesmash - Mark Zuckerberg's college prank predecessor to Facebook - was barely a dorm room idea. Netflix had just got going with a clever postal-based DVD rental service. Tweeting was simply something birds did.

And Apple? Even in 2003 there were plenty in the technology industry dismissing Steve Jobs' yet-to-be behemoth as a boutique business. It's hard to remember this now, but the prevailing view was that Apple had a share of less than 5% of the personal computing market back then. The PC - in the Microsoft sense of the name - was still king.

Apple's products were, then, just making the transition from expensive but highly desirable professional tools to being expensive and desirable devices for the new 'digital lifestyle'. The foundation of this transition, of course, was the 1998-launched original iMac.

But on October 23, 2001 Apple launched its first iMac peripheral, the iPod. It was met with a relative murmur of excitement: 9/11 had occurred just over a month before and the world - and especially Americans - had other things on their mind. And critics weren't slow to recognise that Apple's click-wheel MP3 player was simply a nicely packaged interpretation of other entrants to the nascent 'portable jukebox' industry.

Things have come full circle. As Apple's current CEO Tim Cook was introducing the iPhone 6 and the Apple Watch on Tuesday, his company were quietly retiring the final incarnation of that original iPod. In 13 years it had shrunk, physically, but expanded its capacity from 5Gb to 160Gb, catering largely for the serious muso who has to carry their entire music collection with them at all times. Today, it is something of an anachronism: a bulky, hard drive-based music player, lacking Internet connectivity, still using the click-wheel (which was never all that good to begin with), and even still using Apple's old 30-pin connector. Yes, it's that old.

But it's been interesting to use this week's Apple event to reflect on how time passes in Silicon Valley. Indeed, this is the first time I've been in the area during an Apple launch since that original iPod unveiling in 2001. Back then, Apple had a share price of just over $10. Currently it's hovering around $100, with the company worth an extraordinary $550 billion.

Despite it's enormous value, the question remains - can Apple truly continue to innovate? And by innovate, I mean make jaw-droppingly interesting new products? Hacking into our iTunes account and giving us a free U2 album whether we want it or not is not innovation. In fact, it's the ultimate example of the fears critics expressed when iTunes was launched, that the platform could become too-dominant and unhealthy for consumer and many artists alike.

Indeed, U2's appearance on Tuesday had the air pseudo-rock'n'roll marketing. The idea of a group of middle-aged technology executives, dressed more for the corporate barbecue than the corporate boardroom, trying to connect with a disinterested and disaffected youth market. I mean, U2?

The band and the brand have been close friends for some time, so to be honest, there wasn't that much to be seriously impressed by. And I'm not altogether sure it worked: after all, there were only two stars of the show on Monday, and neither were much of a surprise anyway.

iPhone 6 picture courtesy of Apple
The iPhone 6 - long expected and much rumoured - will no doubt do well. Apple consumers are stupendously loyal. You can argue all day long as to whether it's Apple's world that Samsung are chasing or the other way round, but there are enough of us who bought into the Jobs/Ive world when the iMac came along in 1998 and were then seduced by the iPod three years later.

From those two devices - hub and add-on - we've willingly added iPhones and iPads, MacBooks and Apple TVs. There is no such thing as "the cult of Apple" - there is just a slick marketing machine, one that is happy to build on its own formula.

The Apple Watch is an interesting idea, but like the iPod to begin with, an amalgamation of others' ideas. It was possible to buy a wristwatch-style case for the previous square iPod Nano, which you could then wear as a watch. It just didn't have all the healthcare and fitness tracking stuff. Nor did Apple have an expensively-acquired Senior Vice-President of watches overseeing it.

The idea of wearable electronics is interesting as well, from a long-term health and fitness point of view. But as much as I appreciate the benefits of such technology, this whole 'machine-to-machine' and 'Internet of things' business starts to get creepy after a while. After all, isn't an electronic tag something you attach to prisoners out on parole?

It's now two full days since Apple held its event. This means two things: one, the first queues are probably already forming outside Apple Stores with (mainly) bearded hopefuls sitting in lawn chairs anticipating being the first to walk out with their new toy on the day it goes on sale next week. And second, the rest of the world will have moved on to the next new subject of fleeting excitement. Because, as the marketing and PR cliché goes, it's no longer revolution, it's evolution. And, really, that's just not as interesting.

The end of Rock'n'Roll as we know it: U2's Songs Of Innocence

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The control room of Studio 5 at Tyne-Tees Television in Newcastle was heaving. Members of The Tube crew, various associates of that week's studio guests (Rik Mayall and Ade Edmonson, Robert Cray, Mick Hucknall) and me, crammed in for what was, undoubtedly, An Event.

In silence, and with hairs upright on almost every neck in the room, the screens faded from black to Bono in monochrome: "See the stone set in your eyes, see the thorn twist in your side. I'll wait....for you." The Event had begun.

Malcom Gerrie's weekly music show on Channel 4 had secured the worldwide premiere - on Friday, March 6, 1987 - of the first single from U2's soon to-be-collossus, The Joshua Tree, which was released the following Monday.

Live Aid, two years before, had already elevated the band into the upper echelons of pop's elite, but The Joshua Tree would take them even higher. Achtung Baby, the gargantuan Zoo TV tour, and the Zooropa album would follow, cementing their position as The Biggest Band In The World ™. Then came Pop, with Discothèque and its quasi-Village People video, and Staring At The Sun and If God Will Send His Angels. And then?

U2 remained The Biggest Band In The World ™, but on scale alone. The tours got bigger - the U2 360° tour concluded in 2011 was the highest-grossing concert run in history, with 7.2 million tickets sold worth $736 million - but the creativity levelled off. As have the album sales - The Joshua Tree sold 25 million copies worldwide: No Line On The Horizon, their last, barely touched 5 million. For some that would still be a tidy return, but not for U2.

Which raises questions around the sort-of surprise arrival, this week, of Songs Of Innocence, the band's 13th album. Unlike the heart-pounding drama of that Friday afternoon in Newcastle, the appearance of U2 at Apple's iPhone event in Silicon Valley on Tuesday and the subsequent free giveaway of the album to iTunes subscribers was as much a statement of how the music industry today - beholden to technology - as it was the launch of an album by one of the biggest acts of the last 30 years.

Picture: David Paul Morris/Bloomberg
The days of multi-million-selling records is probably long behind us, and I don't just mean sales of 'physical' format albums, either, which means it probably makes sense to give it away and hope to recoup the cost through ticket sales and merchandising. Songs Of Innocence will actually go on sale in October, but given that there are somewhere in the region of half a billion iTunes subscribers worldwide, it's a doubt as to who will actually go out and buy it.

Apple and U2 have palled up before, launching a special charity edition iPod ten years ago; then - with Steve Jobs still at Apple's core - there was more than a hint of middle-aged technology executives trying to look cool. Tuesday's was no different, and no amount of awkward-looking badinage between Tim Cook and Bono can mask the fact that this was, at the end of the day, just a marketing exercise.

Even now, it's hard to know who the carefully stage-managed stunt aimed to benefit. Perhaps U2 hope it will stimulate back catalogue sales; perhaps it really is just an expensive (as in $100 million  expensive) attempt by Apple to look clever (thus masking the fact that neither the iPhone 6 or the Apple Watch are all that much in the way of breakthroughs). But, really. Is this the same rock band that so brilliantly mocked mass marketing barely a decade or two ago?

There are, inevitably, serious questions to be addressed as to how and why Songs Of Innocence ended up in my iTunes library without my agreement, since it's in there, I might as well give it some some consideration.

Is it any good? Actually, it is, but it takes time to get to that part. In their blurb U2 say that that the eleven new songs constitute "a kind of musical autobiography" charting "their earliest influences from 70s rock and punk to early 80s electronica and soul".

So quite why the opening track, The Miracle (Of Joey Ramone), sounds more like Adam & The Ants'Kings Of The Wild Frontier than anything the Ramones unleashed is puzzling. The second track, Every Breaking Wave, California (There Is No End To Love), certainly brings the U2 story full circle in so far as it sounds more like Coldplay than U2, replete with "whoah-oah" stadium singalong moments and the now generic bass-and-guitar thuddery over-adopted by the junior group. Indeed, the idea that Coldplay want to be U2 has now been answered. Perhaps they should just merge, like some humungous corporate M&A exercise, and call themselves ColdU2play?

I'm sure there are those who will delight in these first two tracks, but for me, they seemed to perpetuate the lack of real adventure of the band's most recent outings. And as for the idea that they dip back into their musical influences...none that I could tell.

But, like me in the morning, perhaps this album just needs time to wake up and drink some coffee. The first tinges of caffeinated interest appear three tracks in with the ballad Song For Someone. Yes, a ballad. While lacking the melodrama of One or even Without Or Without You, it does at least engage the listener, rather than deflect through lack of interest, and draws you into the narrative Bono (as, one suspects, lyricist-in-chief) is trying to address, "themes of home and family, relationships and discovery", as the band's website explains.

Family and history certainly figure in the reflective nature of Iris (Hold Me Close), a heartfelt tribute to Bono's mother, and Cedarwood Road, which recalls his Dublin childhood with a somewhat sepia-tinted melancholy as he concludes by noting that "a heart that is broken is a heart that is open".

The chief complaint about U2's recent output has been the lack of conscious reinvention that marked their transition from The Joshua Tree's Americana to Achtung Baby's dystopian Berlin. Songs Of Innocence won't do much to change the perception that the Dubliners have become bland in their latter career, but there are some genuine moments of reassurance. Volcano - and try avoiding the word "erupts" with a title like that - erupts with the sort of industrious rock U2 once were known for (or at least adapted from Echo & The Bunnymen...), while Sleep Like A Baby Tonight trundles through sonic experimentation, the like of which the band has shown precious little time for since their 1990s zenith.


It's here that you notice that U2's signature sounds - The Edge's trademark guitar delay and Adam Clayton's often under-appreciated bass - have been reigned in. U2 albums always seemed to be more Bono's than the other three's, but the reflective nature - or, perhaps, the melange of producers (Danger Mouse, Adele's Paul Epworth, Ryan Tedder, Declan Gaffney and lifelong U2 collaborator Flood) - has contrived to smooth out the harder edges of their canon.

The final track, The Troubles even includes a guest vocal. Not their first (BB King guested on When Love Comes To Town) but in keeping with television's recent obsession with all things cold, dark and Nordic, U2 add Swedish singer Lykke Li, who is not cold and dark, to my knowledge, but is Nordic, to add some tonal variation to Bono's own singing (which takes off into Thom Yorke territory). Despite the title suggesting another attempt by Bono to commentate on Northern Ireland, the song itself is actually an amalgamation of thoughts on the women in his life, in particular wife Ali and mother Iris.

The overall impression of Songs Of Innocence is an album not rushed (it's taken two years to complete) but forced out because U2 have something to say. My question is whether anyone is listening. If they are, I can't help thinking that they - as I am - are wishing the band had something more dynamic to offer. Bowie returned with a surprise single and an even better album. U2 have returned with more of what they left us last time.

Hootie who? Counting Crows - Somewhere Under Wonderland

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This I know about Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz: he is very tall (he once stood next to me - to my surprise - at a Who concert); he has made social media a confessional for some, at times, pretty intense thoughts about his life; he did not inspire Sideshow Bob, Bart Simpson's dreadlocked arch nemesis.

The other thing I know about Duritz is his tendency to write impenetrable lyrics that tie themselves in knots of verbal complexity, which is one of the first things to hit you about Palisades Park, the sprawling opener of the Crows' seventh studio album and their first in a long time, Somewhere Under Wonderland.

It's a dewy-eyed romp through childhood memories of a New Jersey theme park and, in an instant - well, an eight-minute instant - re-establishes Counting Crows as one of America's finest purveyors of wholemeal rock (and, as I quickly concluded on my drive north from Lake Tahoe to Oregon, the perfect accompaniment for a road trip - "Keep going till we hit Reno, Nevada" Duritz sings helpfully, just as Reno passed by my right-hand window.

Reminiscent of Elton John's Madman Across The Water, and with the New Jersey reference inevitably drawing comparison to Bruce Springsteen's heartland storytelling, the song jumps manically like a big dipper as it recalls friendship lost in a typical Duritz style - a mixture of melancholy and dour wrapped in a bouncy rocker, as much of this album is.

For a native of Baltimore, who made his name in San Francisco, has lived in LA and only recently relocated to New York, Duritz spans the American geography throughout Somewhere Under Wonderland. But whereas plenty before have documented America in song, America - and California in particular - act as a vast backdrop for the exploration of his own neuroses, in particular a chronic sense of loneliness.

It seems odd that for someone who has lived in the second most populated city in the US, and now lives in its first, this should be an issue, but as anyone who has followed him on Twitter will attest, social detachment has been a challenge for most of his adult life. Here, then you find Duritz at his most confessional. Earthquake Driver talks of the restless spirit that took him "skipping and diving and bouncing back to New York City", unsure whether he wants to be "...an earthquake driver...an aquarium diver...I just don't want to go home", but living along "hungry for affection... I just struggle with connection 'til the water calls me home/Down into ocean among millions of other lonely people/Drowning among the only people we are ever going to know."

It sounds morose - and it probably is - but the Crows as a band - in particular, Dan Vickrey's southern blues-infused guitar - lift Duritz's lyrics up with infectiousness.

Even on a song as dystopian as Elvis Went To Hollywood ("When Elvis went to Hollywood, that's when everything went wrong") the seven-piece contrive to make something vibrant.

There is more than a lot of classic 70s rock to like about Somewhere Under Wonderland, with glimpses of The Doors on Dislocation (which also borrows from the J Geils Band's Centerfold - "So I write to all the girly magazines/Splash my passion on the pages in between") and even Lynyrd Skynyrd on Scarecrow. There are also more contemplative moments, such as John Appleseed’s Lament and Possibility Days, which set Duritz's lyrical intensity against reflective musicianship, with neither overdoing the other.

Unlike the bland and even uninspiring nature of the last new album I listened to, U2's Songs Of Innocence, this one is immediate, even when you have to listen for a second or third time in the hope of unravelling the intricacy of Duritz's words. This is earnest rock-pop, a kind that American bands do best, be it Wilco or Phish, Dave Matthews or Hootie & The Blowfish, and you can even throw Kings of Leon into that pool. Like so many things in the US, familiarity is key to its appeal, but don't take that to be an accusation of homogeneity.

Whether it's the tonal comfort of listening to a classic rock album while on an American road trip, or simply the perfect storm of brilliant songwriting and brilliant performance, Somewhere Under Wonderland is an instantly enjoyable record, and without doubt Counting Crows best for a long, long time.

Do you expect me to talk? No, I expect you to die! Goldfinger turns 50

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So let me hit you with this statement: Goldfinger is the best James Bond movie. Ever.

Yes, Skyfall was a brilliant piece of drama; From Russia With Love was the perfect Cold War thriller; Diamonds Are Forever had the right mix of action and goofiness; The Spy Who Loved Me had the Lotus Esprit and Goldeneye successfully rebooted the whole franchise. 

But pound for pound, scene for scene, gag for gag, Goldfinger - which had it's world premiere in London 50 years ago today - contained all the right elements to make it the most perfect Bond film of all time, providing the source code for not only the 20 'official' films that have followed (plus 'Bond 24' due to start production later this year), but all the many spoofs and blatant (and not-so blatant) ripoffs.

Although Cubby Broccoli and Harry Saltzman had established Bond as an action hero for a paranoid 1960s two years before with Dr. No (which opened 11 days before the Cuba missile crisis almost plunged the world into the ultimate world war), Goldfinger, the third Bond film, delivered the goods that we've now come to expect from the series - gadgets, girls, extraordinary plots and understated humour.

To start with, it stars Sean Connery, for most people, the perfect Bond. The first two films had catapulted the former milkman, body builder and bit-part actor to the front line, but Goldfinger shot his star even higher. Think Tom Cruise today. Only taller. And a lot less annoying.

Secondly, it was directed by Guy Hamilton. No disrespect to Sam Mendes for his intellectual, theatrical approach to Skyfall, or to Terence Young who captured the darker, less playful side to Ian Fleming's character with Dr. No, From Russia With Love and Thunderball, but Hamilton turned Bond into movie gold, if you will, perfecting the balance of humour and action (something some later Bonds got wrong, especially during the Roger Moore era).

The opening scene, in which a wet-suited Bond emerges from the water to blow something up, before getting out of his wetsuit to reveal himself to be already dinner suited and booted, prompted as many laughs as it did gasps. But nobody thought it was silly.

And there is Shirley Bassey's theme song - "Gold-fing-gah!" - which not only established Dame S as the quintessential Bond theme singer, but John Barry's formula for the instantly-recognisable Bond them, all strings, brass and drama.

With lyrics by Anthony Newley (one of David Bowie's earliest influences), Barry wrote the music without much direction from the film's production team, short of the name 'Goldfinger' as the core of the song. Michael Caine, then Barry's flatmate, was the first to hear the distinctive "ba-bah-bah" motif, and reportedly dismissed it as sounding like Moon River. Harry Saltzman was even more dismissive, apparently branding it the worst he'd ever heard, but agreeing to using it simply because there was no more time to write something new. Which, I think, we shall be forever grateful.

Goldfinger's characters also defined the panoply of casting that would become the formula for the series. We can discuss the politics of the term 'Bond girl' all day long, but despite the iconic appearance of Ursula Andress in Dr. No and Daniela Bianchi's simpering role in From Russia With LoveGoldfinger established the notion that being Bond's love interest wasn't necessarily a long-term role.

I'm talking, of course, of Shirley Eaton - until Goldfinger, a pretty blonde British actress who'd appeared in Carry On and St. Trinians comedies - and who, thanks to her character Tilly Masterson getting too friendly with Bond, ends up painted gold (trying saying that without thinking of Goldmember...) from head to toe, nude and very dead. All within the first 20 minutes of the film.

Masterson's death in Goldfinger may have propelled Eaton instantly to pin-up status, but it was Honor Blackman who created, for me - and, let's not mess about - the sexiest Bond girl of all: Pussy Galore.

Ian Fleming's novel established her as one of the greatest double entendres in literature, but in the film, she also became one of the most brazen characters to appear in mainstream cinema. In the book she's the leader of an all-lesbian circus troupe; in the film, of course, she's the leader of an all-female flying circus. From Russia With Love had flirted with lesbianism with Lotte Lenya's shoe-stabbing Rosa Klebb, but Pussy Galore made things a lot clearer - "You can turn off the charm, I'm quite immune" she tells Bond. This after one of the greatest exchanges in any Bond film: "Who are you?" says the spy. "Pussy Galore" she replies. "I must be dreaming...." comes the retort.

This isn't, however, the most famous line in Goldfinger. That comes courtesy of Gert Frobe, the portly German who played the film's antagonist, Auric Goldfinger. Shortly before he attempts to laser-cut Bond from the nuts up he is asked by 007: "Do you expect me talk?", responding jovially with "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to DIE!". The best ever Bond line? Yup.

Auric Goldfinger cast the mould for future Bond villains, be it the various incarnations of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the deranged Hugo Drax in Moonraker, the web-handed Kark Stromberg in The Spy Who Loved Me, Christopher Walken's unhinged Max Zorin in A View To A Kill and Yaphet Kotto's brilliant Dr. Kananga in Live And Let Die. However, none of these baddies would be anywhere near as sinister without their henchpersons, and for that we must thank Goldfinger's Oddjob.

Played by Hawaian wrestler Harold Sakata, the mute chauffeur-come-assassin with the guillotine blade in his top hat was a truly frightening creation, the pure evocation of fear and a genuine threat to Bond's health and wellbeing. Oddjob set the benchmark for terror, to be later approached by Tee-Hee and Baron Samedi, by the darkly camp Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, by Grace Jones as Mayday and, of course, the-now late Richard Kiel as Jaws - seemingly unstoppable, even to our hero.

Last, but not least, we must remove a hat and thrust it upwards for Goldfinger's part in giving us the ultimate Bond gadget: the "modified" Aston Martin DB5. A quintessentially British car with Italian design (Superleggera), the Aston, with its forward-facing machine guns, bullet-proof shield, oil slick spray, and tire-shredding wheel hubs, was a preposterous piece of creative design by John Stears, combined with equally smart marketing by the manufacturer. Of course none of the gags, save the revolving number plate (have that, speed cameras!) would have worked in reality, least of all the passenger-side ejector seat that would have scorched Bond. But that's not the point.


Like Tilly Masterson, the DB5 doesn't last very long in Goldfinger, but it enjoys enough screen time to make it the most must-have toy of the last half century. Just about everyone of my age - above and below - has owned Corgi's die-cast replica at some point in their lives, and managed to lose the blue-suited miniature Goldfinger henchman that it sprung out of the roof. No wonder, then, that Sam Mendes resurrected the DB5 - registration plate BMT 216A - for Skyfall, celebrating the franchise's 50th with a true hairs-on-the-neck-raising moment that pleased an entire generation of Bond fans.

Compared with all the CGI nonsense filling up your local multiplex, Goldfinger might look old. But for an action film to remain as vibrant, as engaging, as exciting and as damned-good fun for 50 years as Goldfinger has says something about how if, sometimes, you throw everything including the kitchen sink into a movie, you are left with something that is not only utterly memorable, but can set the benchmark very high for many years to come.

Not quite a riot, but...: The Kaiser Chiefs - Le Bataclan, Paris

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Picture courtesy of Mauro Melis/@MauroParis
It's a damp, autumnal evening in Paris. Hats, scarves, overcoats and umbrellas are in evidence as the City of Light reluctantly gives up the seemingly endless summer it had been hanging on to.

The cold season is with us, too, with coughing, sniffing and spluttering conspicuous on the stiflingly packed Métro. God help us if Ebola gets loose down there.

But on that gloomy note, please consider the remedy: the energetic midweek party that are the Kaiser Chiefs, who kicked off their European tour on Tuesday night in Paris at that venerable salle de spectacle, Le Bataclan.

It's one of the many old theatres that provide manna from heaven for the expatriate muso in this city. This year alone I've seen both Robert Plant and the Manic Street Preachers at the Bataclan, and Paul Weller at the same venue two years ago. With other venues like La Trianon, La Cigale and the Flèche D'Or, you can enjoy the company of A-list acts in an environment of intimacy and exclusivity you would only otherwise experience with a private club show.

Of course, the choice of venue is largely made by the bands and their tour promoter. No-one wants to get stuck with bald swathes of empty seats or floorspace and a stack of unsold T-shirts. But for my somewhat agoraphobic avoidance of the aircraft hangars that bands play in on my home island, to be both a few yards away from the lead singer of Led Zeppelin as well as the front door is a blessing I treasure every time I visit one of these modest music palaces.

Most bands will start out in venues like Le Bataclan, honing their craft and building their live reputation. Blessed with a musical charisma and an appeal that transcended both pop fans and the festival grebos who hanker after something less accessible, the Kaisers appeared to arrive fully formed in 2005 with their hit-laden album Employment. And after an apparent dip in commercial form with their previous two long players, this year's Education, Education, Education and War returned to form, along with a February tour of the UK's biggest metal sheds, including the 20,000-seat behemoth that is London's O2.

However, beyond home borders, things might be different: one local blogger noted that Tuesday's Bataclan show was far from a sell-out, arguing that the Kaisers' creative hiatus had impacted their popularity in France. On my evidence, it was hard to tell: the Bataclan looked packed and the 1,000 or so punters crammed onto its floor seemed excited enough to be there.

As did the Kaiser Chiefs themselves. Condensed onto the Bataclan's relatively small stage, there was plenty of playscape for a combination of the communal participation-bearing hits of Employment and the more mature-sounding return to form of tracks from the Education... album. 

Such a stage also provides a compact hamster cage for Ricky Wilson to race about in manically, thankfully back to the day job, after his excursion into the artistically questionable realm of Saturday night light entertainment.

In the best traditions of the lead singer Wilson is the obvious focal point of the Kaisers, something he works at with aplomb, from leading the audience in Freddy Mercury-style lyric-free singalongs, to his apparent party trick of appearing in one of the balconies during The Angry Mob.

From start - The Factory Gates - to finish, Wilson is breathlessly engaging, drawing out of the band a solid chug of music that is unpretentious, uncomplicated and utterly enjoyable for it.

Everyday I Love You Less and Less gets the crowd joining in early in proceedings, with the equally audience-friendly Ruffians on Parade turning the Bataclan into a microcosm of communal chanting. Na Na Na Na Na brought more vocal support from the floor, a reminder of just how packed Employment was with top quality pop hits of the calibre of, say, Madness or Squeeze in their prime.

Thus, Modern Way and I Predict a Riot, plus their biggest post-Employment hit, Ruby, come bouncing along to the audience's inevitable delight - including besuited office workers shaking off the daily grind for a while to frug about, carefree. There's a moment of relative tenderness with the single Coming Home from Education... One reviewer has described this song, unfairly, as "generic". I disagree: while it might bear a strong similarity to Toto's Rosanna, and even positive similarities to latterday Genesis, it would be wrong to think of this almost-ballad as middle-of-the road. Actually, it's just a great song.

So is Misery Company, which kicks off the encore, and adds more damage to the untrained vocal chords in the crowd with its "Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-hah" refrain (reminiscent of the old Charles Penrose music hall number The Laughing Policeman), before setting the floor ablaze with Oh My God.

And that's what you come along for. Whether standing in a muddy field in Somerset, surrounded by the great unwashed and their herbal recreation, or packed into a historic French theatre on a schoolnight, the Kaisers are never going to be about lighters-aloft schmaltz (sorry, I should update my reference points - iPhones-aloft...).No. What you come to see the Kaiser Chiefs for is pure, unadulterated entertainment. As solid as The Who, as playful as a panto, and utterly worth losing the use of your vocal chords for the following 24 hours.



Same songs, different space: Songs From The Big Chair remixed

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There was a time when you knew you were getting older when policemen started getting younger. But for the music fan in particular these days, it’s the reissue of a favourite album that provides the starkest of reminders of advancing years.

Every so often, however, a record company will repackage an album of genuine nostalgic value. Some - like this year’s re-release of Led Zeppelin's first four albums, lovingly curated by Jimmy Page and stuffed into sumptuous boxes with a bounty of extras - happily prise open the wallet.

“If you put it together with the right package and the right material, people won’t even look at the price tag,” says Steven Wilson, who when not making records of his own has developed a neat sideline remixing the back catalogues of rock luminaries such as Yes, King Crimson and Jethro Tull.

Now he has turned his attention to a classic album of the 1980s - Tears For Fears’ Songs From The Big Chair, which has just been re-released for its 30th anniversary (yes, 30th) in a variety of formats including a six-disc “super deluxe” box set featuring four CDs, two DVDs, tour programme and book - with Wilson supplying stereo and 5.1 surround sound remixes of the original album.

© Steven Wilson
/Facebook
For someone so closely associated with progressive rock - either through his own albums (including Porcupine Tree, which he founded, and Blackfield with Israeli superstar Aviv Geffen) and remix projects so far - working on such a quintessential 80s album (both in form and sound) might come as a surprise. When Universal Music offered Wilson to take his pick from a list of 80s ‘catalogue’ albums, Songs From The Big Chair stood out.

"I think people have assumed I'm only interested in working on albums from the 70s progressive rock era,” says Steven, "but nothing could be further from the truth. I like all kinds of music, and grew up with bands like The Cure, The Smiths, Joy Division and Tears For Fears. As much as I love [the prog bands], doing this and the XTC catalogue has been a bit of a breakthrough in getting to do the music I enjoyed as a teenager.”

Recorded in 1984, with the first single - Mother’s Talk - released that August, Songs From The Big Chair was Tears For Fears’ second album. But far from being the "difficult" sophomore effort of tradition, the follow-up to The Hurting went on to sell nine million copies, with hits like Everybody Wants To Rule The World and Shout pitching Roland Orzabal and Curt Smith to global heights only U2 could rival them for at the time.

"Songs From The Big Chair and its successor Sowing The Seeds Of Love were - along with the albums Trevor Horn was producing at the time -  the gold standard for anyone of my age aspiring to be a producer,” says Wilson. "I never aspired to be a musician or a guitar player, I aspired to being a writer and producer, someone who made these epic records. Albums like this and Propaganda’s Secret Wish or Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s Welcome To The Pleasure Dome all conveyed a sense of musical journey. They were clearly made by people who’d grown up listening to the classic albums of the 70s but were bringing the new technology of the 80s into the studio. Pop records that had the same ambition and scope of those great progressive rock albums of the previous decade.”

For the remixes, an album as sonically quintessential 80s as Songs From The Big Chair presented an interesting array of challenges. "There was a massive difference in terms of recording philosophy,” Steven says. "Even though there was only 15 years between an album like [Yes’s] Close To The Edge and Songs From The Big Chair, the philosophy of recording had completely changed.”

Part of that change with the Tears For Fears album was the changing technology used on it: "You have to listen to every sound on the master tapes,” says Steven. "Suddenly I've got this album where some of the sounds are difficult to identify, because this was recorded at the birth of sampling and digital synthesisers like the Emulator and the DX7. Now you’re listening to more impressionistic sounds because of the advent of sampling technology.”

The other big change is the amount of cavernous echo producers were using."Artificial reverb was used very sparingly in the 70s - a little echo on the voice, a little on the guitar, but that's about it,” Steven explains. “Then in the 80s, everything sounded like it was being played at Wembley Arena. Trevor Horn started that massive cinematic sound. The intimacy of 70s recording had gone - the drums sound massive, the keyboards sound massive, the vocals are huge, everything's enormous.”

© Steven Wilson/Facebook
Although Wilson’s stature in rock music has come about from performing with Porcupine Tree, his solo albums and numerous side projects, his focus as a producer and writer informs much of his remixing work.

“Firstly, it’s always an honour to remix an album that I genuinely think is a masterpiece, as I do with Songs From The Big Chair,” he says. "Secondly it’s wonderful to be working with the people who created the music, and to be able to learn something about how they made the record.”

"You learn in two ways: firstly, by communication with the artist,” Steven says of Tears For Fears’ Roland Orzabal who personally oversaw the remixing project. “But you also learn from the act of deconstructing and reconstructing the music, figuring out how they put the tracks together. Being able to get inside the music is such an education. I’m the kind of person who likes to feel that there is something I can learn and bring back into my own music."

When the original album was released in early 1985, Songs From The Big Chair figured heavily in my sixth-form listening, an experience I share with Steven who is eight days my senior. Almost 30 years on, and with modern digital audio replacing the poorly copied cassette tape I listened to while working on A-level homework, there is much to enjoy about listening the album all over again.

"The nice thing about going back to an album like this now is that you hear references that you totally missed at the time you first heard it,” says Steven.

"When I hear I Believe now, it’s completely Robert Wyatt. It was actually written for him to sing [Roland’s favourite album of all time is Rock Bottom]. Clearly I didn’t know that at the time - I just heard it as a classic 80s pop ballad - but now of course I hear Shipbuilding.

"Similarly, when I now hear Listen I hear influences from Pink Floyd or David Bowie’s Low; when I hear things like Working Hour I hear references back to classic rock music filtered through a ‘modern’ sensibility.”

Pop music in the 1980s may get depicted as sugary froth, but Steven notes the darker hues that Tears For Fears - and many others - were painting in the era of Cold War and Thatcherism. "Shout is SO dark, not just lyrically but musically too; not just in its lyrics but in its almost Wagnerian music, too! That was something people seemed to pull off in the 80s, especially with a band like The Cure. Today we don’t hear any of that in the mainstream. Pop is pop, it is happy, jolly. Back in the 80s, some of the mainstream pop music was so dark - Two Tribes for example. A lot of that had to do with Bowie’s Berlin period - Low and Heroes. They had a big influence on many of the bands like Tears For Fears and Gary Numan."

The actual process of creating a surround sound remix of a classic album like Songs From The Big Chair is, says Steven, a careful process. "The hard part is not letting down the people that know the album like the back of their hand. That is where the fans’ perspective is so important. That’s why I won’t work on albums I don’t love. If I’m not a fan, I’m not the right person to do it, because you’re trying to create a new experience from an old record. You don’t want it to be jarring - you don’t want people to say 'that’s wrong' or 'that’s not how I remember it'.

© Steven Wilson/Facebook
"The objective is trying to make it seem like if someone didn’t tell you it was a new mix, you wouldn’t notice the difference. Of course, if you’re intimately familiar with an album, you will pick up on small details, but I wouldn’t want a more casual listener jumping out of their chair screaming 'that sounds different to how I remember it’.

"With surround sound, you can’t please everyone - so the challenge is to create something that feels cohesive, that doesn’t feel like all the glue has been taken out, all the ingredients have been pulled apart and sounds fragmented in surround sound. You have to try and make it feel like it’s coming from the same place sonically, but still get that immersive feeling as well. That’s something which comes from personal preference and personal taste."

There are, of course, music fans who’ll scoff at the idea of turning an album they once listened to in a flat, analogue form into something with a somewhat different soundscape. And there will be those who will be jaded by the battles of the 1990s and early 2000s as consumer electronics empires took each other on with rival formats like Super Audio CD and DVD-Audio. But while mainstream entertainment might, today, be more about downloads and streaming, there is still space for high-quality physical formats. "Anyone who says they don’t like multichannel sound should remember that we’ve been listening to multichannel for 50 years,” says Steven. "Stereo is multichannel sound!”

While the consumer masses are quite willing to go out and buy the latest high-definition TV and buy Blu-ray Disc box sets, high-definition audio still feels like a minority interest. "It’s probably down to the marketing people for not pushing audio excellence in the way they’ve pushed video excellence,” Steven feels. "Early on a lot of record companies rushed to release albums in surround sound, and a lot were done quite badly. When this began there were plenty of movies that could be easily released on DVD or Blu-ray Disc in surround sound, but to do music and rebuild the music from scratch, there were a lot that were just rushed."

"It feels like it’s taken ten years for the concept to catch up with itself,” he adds. "Now you’re seeing Blu-ray releases loaded with value. Of course there are examples of people looking to issue ‘yardage’ rather than quality, but if you look at the XTC reissues that I’m involved with, Andy Partridge is putting an extraordinary amount of extras on them. The Drums & Wires album that has just come out as a Blu-ray Disc and a CD package, it’s got something like 120 tracks on it. Demos, instrumentals, sessions, alternate versions, B-sides, outtakes, video material it’s like a box set on a single disc.


"With the first generation of SACD releases record companies seemed to rely on just putting out the album with perhaps a bit of tweaking to the mastering, and that was going to justify people spending £15 on an album they’d already bought 12 times before. You’ve got to offer something new, some extra value too. That’s why these deluxe edition box sets have done so well. If you put it together with the right package and the right material, people won’t even look at the price tag. The Led Zeppelin albums are the epitome of this concept - if you love those albums, it will be something you will treasure."

Steven says that, despite the perceived decline in sales of physical music formats, high definition audio is actually growing, along with the hipster trend of vinyl ownership. "I recognise that a lot of the audiophile audience are getting on a bit,” he says, "but they’ve got the time, the money and the inclination to rebuy the albums they used to listen to 20, 30 or 40 years ago. They want something new from it and they want some sort of enhanced sonic experience. That’s probably who I’m working on these records for. I also know that these projects can be the catalyst for people going out and buying surround systems, just so they can hear all these great records in a new way."

Wilson's enthusiasm for bringing back to new life old albums comes, he says, from what he gets out of the projects: "Working on these remixes is an education. But they also give me a sense of completing a circle with albums that I grew up being influenced by, that you could say are in my musical DNA. I’ve always used the analogy that it’s like cleaning the Sistine Chapel - you don’t want to change what is there, you just want to make it ‘shine’ brighter, to give something back."

Having just completed recording work on his fourth solo album, due to be released next February, there are still plenty of albums Steven would love to have a crack at remixing in surround sound. "When you think of albums that would sound great in surround sound, shined up and remixed, it’s an endless list!” he says.

"At the top would be Kate Bush’s records, but also Michael Jackson’s classic albums - they would sound phenomenal in surround sound! I’m amazed they’ve never been done, to my knowledge. The classic Bowie albums - the Berlin trilogy for example - as well. These are just some of things I’d love to do. There’s always the possibility, as more of my work gets out there. The Tears For Fears project is in that category - if you’d have asked me a year ago whether I’d be doing something like this album I would have said it was extremely unlikely, and yet here it is!"

Back in the saddle: Bombay Bicycle Club at Le Bataclan, Paris

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© Simon Poulter, 2014

For those of you playing the home game, Britain's Daily Mail has a thing about the BBC. On any given day, the newspaper can be found seething, on behalf of cardigan-clad middle England, about anything it can spitefully pin on the venerable broadcasting institution - from indignant stories about the Top Gear team's transgressions to obscure rants about cutlery in the Broadcasting House canteen.

Bombay Bicycle Club must be thankful for so far being off the Mail's radar, but it can only be a matter of time before they, via their abbreviated name, fall within the crosshairs. After all, the quartet from London's Crouch End are clearly in the ascendancy. Their fourth album, So Long, See You Tomorrow went to straight to No.1 in the UK, and next month they will headline a sold-out show at that gargantuan art deco cavern, London's Earls Court Arena, on what will be its final show as a historic rock venue (see Floyd, Zeppelin).

Le Bataclan is a more modest venue, and a more modest audience, too, but one no less enthused by the brilliantly infectious guitar-driven electronic pop that has been the foundation of the still-ridiculously young four-piece.

Bombay Bicycle Club. (l to r) Suren de Saram, Jamie MacColl, Jack Steadman, Ed Nash

Guitars, however, were noticeably less prominent on this year's acclaimed album So Long, See You Tomorrow, on which principle songwriter and singer Jack Steadman applied a more worldly approach, influenced by his travels throughout Asia in particular. 

This is evident from the off in Paris as BBC kick off with the album's opener, Overdone, with its Bollywood samples. Limbs in the crowd are already twitching. While there may be less guitar and more electronic dance pop on the album, in concert, Steadman and Jamie MacColl spa with their six strings, like cooler, twentysomething versions of Joe Walsh and Don Felder on Hotel California, playing in double-tracked syncopation of their sprightly, high-necked guitar sound. 

© Simon Poulter 2014
So Long, See You Tomorrow is coloured from somewhat different hues, but BBC in concert have an infectious energy, underpinned by Ed Nash's assured bass work and the exhausting-to-watch power drumming of Suren de Saram, augmented by vocalist Liz Lawrence. Thus, the breezy, 80s pop-flavoured Come To, also from the latest record bounces along, its township jive groove causing limbs to twitch even more. 

Shuffle a little later on gets the audience participation going further, with hand-clapping in evidence as the audience begins to frug mildly to the UK and US hit from 2011's A Different Kind Of FixThe gentle, melancholy Lights Out, Words Gone - with its bitter refrain "Keep your old and wasted words, my heart is breaking like you heard" brings the mood down a little, before Your Eyes from the same 2011 album restores the frug level.

On record, the tonal differences between A Different Kind Of Fix and So Long, See You Tomorrow are more pronounced, but live the contrast is subtle. Luna, with its expansive, global groove brings forth the Asian influences that informed Steadman's writing, blending rhythms you could easily imagine associated with a future World Cup, with Nash's buzzing, fuzz-boxed bass and Lawrence's perfectly pitched counter-vocals.

For all their reputation as up-for-it electronica dance merchants, BBC have a pastoral side. Their 2010 album Flaws covered a lot of acoustic ground - including John Martyn's Fairytale Lullaby - and Ivy & Gold brings out an Unplugged interlude, with a lot of wood and strings (and even a mandolin) being plucked on stage.

In fact, when you take into account the quiet, moody Eyes Off You (which, at the back of Le Bataclan was a struggle to hear above the always-annoying French bar chatter), a cover of Swedish popstrel Robyn's With Every Heartbeat, and the closing number Carry Me, which throws back to 80s rave music it's clear there are many dimensions to BBC, all of which add to their live appeal. Even How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep - the bonus track on the Twilight: Eclipse soundtrack that didn't actually appear in the film itself, but nevertheless cleverly marketed BBC to a teenage audience - transitions well from uneasy and sparse album song to competently fill out the venue.

© Simon Poulter 2014

Every band usually manages to include in their live shows the one dud to send everyone off to the merchandise stand or the bar, but BBC's infectiousness notably kept the audience nailed to the spot throughout all 21 songs - a generous set, on top of support from the thunderous Childhood (whom I'd only seen early this month in Paris as opener for Johnny Marr). 

What Steadman lacks in out-and-out showmanship, he and his band more than adequately make up for in other departments. Having just reconsidered Tears For Fears for the 30th anniversary release of their Songs From The Big Chair, there are compelling parallels to be drawn with BBC - not least an intensity and earnestness, but also the layers of electronica and rock. As they prepare for the UK arena leg of their tour next week, with that Earl's Court date on December 13 as its finale, this is an already hugely popular band that, with the right care and the desire, can make the leap to filing the biggest venues on a regular basis. They really are that worthy of it.

Image: Bombay Bicycle Club/Facebook

Genesis of a guilty pleasure: The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway at 40

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When I entered, as a career, the murky world of music journalism 28 years ago I attracted instant pariah status amongst older, more weathered colleagues on account of openly being a Genesis fan. 

My colleagues were baffled as to why such an 18-year-old pup should be into a hoary old prog rock band, and not the hipper fare of the day. Now, given that this was 1986, a year of No.1 singles by such whippersnappers as Diana Ross, Chris De Burgh, Billy Ocean and Cliff Richard, it's hard to know what contemporary taste had to do with anything. Of course, what I should have been into was the indie darlings of the day, Nick Cave, New Order, The Smiths or The Cocteau Twins. But, no. My musical tastes included this band of two halves.

40 years ago this month, Genesis released their seminal album The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway, regarded by some as 'their'Dark Side Of The Moon, their Quadrophenia. And with the Blu-ray Disc release of the BBC documentary Together And Apart, featuring the band's so-called 'classic' line-up in a room together, awkwardly discussing their shared history, it's time to reassess them.

The first thing to agree upon about Genesis - and it is one endorsed by the band and experts alike - is that they've never been cool. In their earliest, Peter Gabriel-fronted incarnation they lacked Led Zeppelin's rock'n'roll rawness, Pink Floyd's avante garde acceptability, or even Bowie or Roxy Music's art rock credentials (they were, though, fans of Bowie, and supported The Dame in March 1970 at The Atomic Sunrise festival at London's legendary Roundhouse). Even the Stones got away with a dreadful flirtation with disco. And at least ELO or Queen could always be branded as guilty pleasures.


By 1986, when I began to sharpen my pencil, they'd reached a peak of stratospheric success - and soon, saturation. Imagewise, they were a group of fortysomething Rockbroker Belt musicians, lacking neither the aesthetic appeal of younger stars or precious music press-approved artistic recognition. But they had still become stadium superstars. Such success had had been a long time coming, but had accelerated with the 1980 album Duke delivering their first hit single in the US (Misunderstanding), and a year later with Abacab - a conscious effort to sound different - and released shortly after Phil Collins had landed his hole-in-one debut solo album Face Value.

The release of Invisible Touch in June 1986 came in midst of Collins becoming one of the world's biggest pop stars (he remains today one of only three artists to have sold more than 100 million records, collectively in a band and as a solo performer, the other two being Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson). This, however, overwhelmingly overshadowed his origins as a truly gifted drummer, and his populist appeal became fused with that of the band he'd been a member of since 1970. Whether his Genesis bandmates liked it or not, Collins was drawing new fans on the back of his solo success - and his near-ubiquity in the mid-80s - performing twice at Live Aid, three hitfest solo albums including 1985's No Jacket Required, production and drumming jobs for just about anyone (Eric Clapton, Robert Plant, Tears For Fears, Howard Jones), his US No.1 with Earth, Wind & Fire's Philip Bailey (Easy Lover), and even a proper acting role in an episode of Miami Vice.

Invisible Touch was their most commercially successful album yet, going straight to No.1 in the UK (when such an achievement  actually meant something) and peaking at No.3 in the US, shifting 15 million 'units' worldwide and spawning five heavy MTV-rotated hit singles (including 'that' one with the Spitting Image puppets). In the same period, guitarist Mike Rutherford had broken US chart ground with his Mike + The Mechanics side project while even old boy Gabriel rode the commercial wave for the first time with his most successful album to date, So and its Stax hats-off Sledgehammer.

It had never always been thus. The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway, released on November 18, 1974, confounded fans and critics alike - and still does. It was their sixth studio album since their Jonathan King-produced 1969 debut, From Genesis To Revelation, with its New York Mining Disaster-era Bee Gees pastiche The Setting Sun. By 1974 they had a built a reasonable following - obscurely and particularly in places like Italy and Belgium - and had even bothered the singles charts with  I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe) (though they bizarrely opted out of the promotional opportunity of performing it on Top Of The Pops - it ended up being danced to by Pan's People...). 

They had enjoyed some critical acclaim, and some commercial success, but they were still regarded as interesting, rather than essential. Albums like the heavily King Crimson-influenced Trespass, Nursery Cryme, Foxtrot and Selling England By The Pound  - with their wiggy keyboard solos, brilliantly obtuse guitar riffs, 'dawn of Time' Mellotron expanses and whimsical lyrics - leaned more to Lewis Carroll and Tolkien than the American blues-based rock and roll that the mainstream was into. These records were brilliantly clever - but perhaps too clever.

The Lamb didn't necessarily change their commercial fortunes, but it consciously moved them into an earthier musical approach without totally abandoning the obscure time signatures and fantasy of their previous recordings. It was a concept album, constructed around the story of tough Puerto Rican, Rael, getting sucked into a New York fantasy underworld. 

Narratively it pitched somewhere between West Side Story and King Lear, with Gabriel branding it "a kind of punk Pilgrim's Progress", an interesting reference point, given that punk was stirring in 1974 New York. To consider The Lamb the origin of punk might be a stretch (and an irony, given that Genesis were often cited by British punk bands as the focus of their ire), but Gabriel's description fits. Songs like its title track as well as Back In N.Y.C. and The Broadway Melody Of 1974 have an attitude at the polar opposite of the near-Dickensian themes of their previous work, while in the album's single, Counting Out Time they tackled sexual experimentation in a manner that ten years later Frankie Goes To Hollywood earned a Radio 1 ban for.

As with any double-concept album, there are good points and bad points. Brian Eno's guest appearance, applying his 'enossification' (essentially a lot of weird noises) on The Grand Parade Of Lifeless Packaging, which closes Side 1 of the first vinyl disc, is one of the less obvious plus points (in return for Eno working on The Lamb, Collins was 'loaned' out to Eno for a drum session). For the live shows of The Lamb, Colony Of The Slippermen would find Gabriel playing the Slipperman 'character' dressed in an oversized rubber costume covered in what looked like sweaty testes of varying sizes. Infamously the suit restricted both movement and the singer's ability to sing into a microphone, creating no end of frustration for the other band members.

The Lamb has, however, plenty of gems, too. Carpet Crawlers is a piece of understated beauty that builds from the quietest of arpeggiated electric pianos to a choral crescendo, and remained a live favourite for the band for many years after. The Waiting Room evolves from a swirling pool of nefarious noises to a triumphant groove, intentionally marking a transition from dark to light, while IT, the last track on Side 4, gallivants the entire concept - and Rael's journey - to a satisfying conclusion. Back In N.Y.C. - which was covered by no less than Jeff Buckley - blasts out of the beginning of Side 2, all street and 'what of it?' bravado, while In The Cage remained a justifiable live favourite throughout the band's post-Lamb career.

Of course it's too long - what concept album isn't? And parts of it are just bonkers. But then in 1974 you could make overlong, bonkers concept albums. And while The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway today is still far from a favourite album of all Genesis fans - from any of the band's respective eras - it deserves to be recognised more highly as one of the albums of the early 1970s.

"It wasn't," Collins has said, "a record company album", but then Genesis weren't signed to a normal record company: Tony Stratton-Smith, the former sports journalist turned bon viveur founder of Charisma Records famously gave them free reign and an open cheque book to make music not limited by the expectations of a fanatical accounting department so common today in the record industry. Not a great business model, mind, but an admirable spirit to artistic stewardship.



Intended to be, from the outset, a double album that allowed the band to produce something more creatively extensive, The Lamb ended up creating tensions that almost ended Genesis for good, and saw Gabriel leave at the end of the 1975 tour in which they played the album in its entirety.

It was a situation very prescient of Roger Waters' acrimonious split from Pink Floyd half a decade later: a double-concept album, that separated the singer and main songwriter from the other band members, but established an epic in the canon in the process. For The Lamb, Gabriel had taken on writing the story concept and the lyrics, with Rutherford, Collins, Tony Banks and Steve Hackett working almost in isolation on the music. 

Part of the album was recorded at Headley Grange, a somewhat dilapidated Hampshire stately home where Led Zeppelin had recorded parts of their fourth album, including Bonzo's legendary drum parts of When The Levee Breaks. It was hardly the ideal of 'getting it together in the country' as the house had a reputation for being haunted and, as Genesis discovered when they turned up, infested with rats feeding on the waste that previous bands had not bothered to clear up. More gruesome details spared.

Somewhere in all of this Gabriel had had his head turned by Hollywood director William then a hot property following The Exorcist - who'd been interested in the singer's abilities as a story writer (the back of their 1973 Genesis Live album contains one of the surreal stories Gabriel would tell on stage between songs while the band endlessly retuned their 12-string guitars). Around the same time his first daughter was born, but with a very difficult birth, leading to frequent studio absence which, to the then still-young group, placed further strain on the group dynamic.

Band politics in the classic Genesis line-up were always a thing, and rooted in the group's origins. Gabriel, Rutherford and Banks, along with original guitarist Anthony Phillips, formed Genesis at Charterhouse, the English public school more used to turning out high court judges, diplomats and cabinet ministers than rock bands (the teenage Rutherford had his guitar confiscated when schoolmasters considered it a symbol of long-haired rebellion...). 

With their classical education and somewhat refined upbringing on the Surrey, Sussex and Hampshire borders, their teenage rebellion was a lot different to their heroes, The Beatles, growing up in Liverpool, and maturing on Hamburg's ReeperbahnThey were all, though, fans of Fab Four, as well as the Stones, The Who and other contemporaries. Gabriel was also a huge fan of Otis Redding (he still cites a 1967 Redding show at Brixton's RamJam club as his all-time favourite gig). Banks was the classically trained pianist, while Phillips and Rutherford developed a unique telepathy through their beautiful and at times ethereal 12-string sound. 

Phillips left in 1970 after struggling with stage fright. At the same time, the band went through - in a somewhat Spinal Tap manner - a sequence of drummers. And then came Collins, the stage school-trained former child actor from Hounslow. Famously Collins arrived early for his audition at Peter Gabriel's parental home in Chobham, Surrey, and was dispatched to the swimming pool where he listened to all the other auditionees and noted their errors. He aced the audition. Rutherford is said to have worn a smoking jacket.

Then, in early 1971, guitarist Steve Hackett joined, bringing in a highly innovative approach (face facts, Eddie van Halen, it was Hackett who invented the 'tapping' technique!) along with a darker and even slightly aloof nature, though this was more to do with being a somewhat reserved individual - even by this group's standards of English reservedness - and also from his thick beard and even thicker glasses.

Gabriel and Tony Banks had been close friends at Charterhouse, but their individual stubbornness was often the source of tension (Hackett maintains - semi-jokingly - that a lot of this was rooted in unresolved classroom squabbles). 

Collins, with his cheeky-chappie end-of-pier schtick provided much-needed levity. Crucially, he applied a jazzier,  soulful drumming style which also helped loosen things up. People do tend to forget, when razing him for apocryphal tales of divorce-by-fax and mis-associated politics, that he was a truly exceptional drummer, better by far than a Moon or a Bonham.

The Lamb, Gabriel's eventual departure, and the album's exquisite 1976 follow-up, A Trick Of The Tail, introduced Collins - reluctantly - as lead singer, and effectively started the journey that would lead to the dizzy heights of global superstardom ten years later. With Hackett leaving after 1977's Wind & Wuthering album (another creative high point) and the landmark live album Seconds Out, the Banks/Collins/Rutherford three-piece set about transforming into a pop-rock band with their hit ballad Follow You, Follow Me from the ...And Then There Were Three album, with Duke following (an album that heavily influenced Keane, it would appear).

Whether they like it or not, and whether their fans like it or not, Genesis have always been a band of two halves. Gabriel's departure in 1975 to "either do a Bowie, a Ferry, or a furry boa and hang myself with it" marked a thin but eventually significant rubicon. Shorn of Gabriel's vision, the new four-piece Genesis found a warmth that had rarely been there before. Collins is understandably reluctant to be seen as the reason for it, but his stage persona and natural charisma connected with audiences in a manner Gabriel's eccentricity and bizarre costumes hadn't. But it wasn't just the singer - musically, A Trick Of The Tail and Wind & Wuthering evolved the band sonically.

With hit singles - romantic hit singles - their following changed again, with audiences no longer comprised of intense men in army-surplus greatcoats furiously taking notes, but including, you know, girls. Eventually they'd evolve fully to become the wacky MTV funsters of the 1980s (Collins, the former child actor, may have been cut out for comedy turns as Southern preachers and Mexican bandidos, but the clinically reserved Banks and the admiral's son Rutherford always looked mortifyingly awkward in those videos).

What didn't change, indeed, what has never changed, was their reception frm certain sections of the music press. But here's the thing: as I later discovered, the very post-punk writers who castigated me for being a Genesis fan at 18 also routinely had albums like Nursery Cryme and Selling England By The Pound in their collections, usually alongside Dark Side Of The Moon and at least one King Crimson record. 

Punk was supposed to have done away with bands like Genesis, but in truth it wasn't prog rock, per se, that punk hated, it was the gargantuism of mid-70s rock in general. The mountains of cocaine, the immense distances formed between band and fan by playing giant American arenas, and tours judged less on their artistic merit as the number of juggernauts and Boeing 707s needed to transport everything and everyone. 

Clash drummer Topper Headon did, once, come up to Phil Collins at an airport and declare him to be cool. Lord knows what Headon was on at the time, but it's a small indication of the fact that Genesis in general have been partly victims of their own success, and partly victims of people not bothering to give proper consideration to their music. Yes, the early albums had songs as maddeningly bonkers as their later work could been infuriatingly trite. But in either of their so-called eras, there is music to savour, music which, with objective appreciation, could compete favourably with the Englishness of Blur, the jazz chops of Weather Report, or, dare I say it, spirt of The Clash. 

Don't believe me?  Go to Spotify and find out. And if liking Genesis is still a guilty pleasure, it's not one I'm ashamed of. 





Off The Wall: Pink Floyd's angry young man turns 35

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In writing yesterday’s post on The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway, the concept album Genesis released in November 1974, I was knocked about by the realisation that, presciently, it was an unwitting blueprint for The Wall, the Pink Floyd and - face facts - Roger Waters’ opus, released this very day in 1979.

Both are double albums, both are constructed around complex narratives, and both ultimately lead to the principal behind the concept leaving the respective group. One in considerably less acrimony than the other, it must be said. But whereas the Genesis album was a rights-of-passage fantasy, The Wall was an altogether more ambitious and brooding affair that delved deeply into the dark depths of Waters own neuroses.

Principally, it provided a platform for Waters to address numerous demons, including his father’s death at Anzio in 1944, the audience alienation that stemmed the increasing success Pink Floyd had enjoyed post-Dark Side Of The Moon, and even world politics since the end of the Second World War.

The first brick of The Wall, if you will, was laid during the Floyd’s 1977 tour for the Animals album, at the Olympic Stadium in Montreal. Drummer Nick Mason recalled, in his brilliant memoir Inside Out, that group of fans close to the stage who were “probably high on chemicals and definitely low on attentiveness” were loudly shouting out song suggestions to the band. On catching one of them calling for Careful With That Axe Eugene, Waters lost it and spat at the fan.


The episode left the entire band deflated, but none more so than Waters who became severely affected by his lack of control and the realisation that Pink Floyd had lost its connection with the audience, a key tenet of the punk movement that was targeted such bands at the same time.

For the next year Waters worked in isolation on two concepts that he presented to the band in July 1978 as suggestions for their next album: one would become his debut solo album, The Pros & Cons Of Hitchhiking (a brilliant record to this day, built around the concept of a man’s dream in real time).

The other was The Wall, the story of a washed up rock star - Pink - struggling with a collapsing marriage, paranoid and descending into a morass of stereotypical rock star distractions, and drifting into fascism as a consequence.

In the process, Waters would address the separation that had plagued him - first that of being forced apart from his father by war (Waters was just five months old when his father, Eric Fletcher Waters was killed) and second, the distance that had clearly started to form between him and Floyd’s fans.

With the band “less inspired” [Mason] by Pros & Cons, The Wall was chosen as the project to go for, though it is not known how enthusiastic the other three were about having their next album more or less prepared for them. Mason certainly felt that the fully-formed demo tapes were an issue: “The level of contribution by the other members of the band made it a bone of contention,” he wrote in Inside Out. “Perhaps the very completeness of Roger’s demo made it difficult for David or Rick to contribute much.” Tensions had been building for some time between Waters and Gilmour, but when Pink Floyd entered London’s Britannia Row Studios in July 1978 to start working on The Wall, “The potential volcano of future discord was,” says Mason. “Still dormant”.

The acrimony to come - which saw Wright sacked by Waters, only to be reinstated on wages for The Wall’s epic tour (ironically, he was the only member of the band to make money on the tour as a result), and then Waters leaving the group in 1982 and then trying to sue them to prevent further use of the band name - has been well documented.

There have, though, been apparent moments of thaw since. The band’s one-off reformation for Live 8 saw an awkward on-stage hug between Waters and Gilmour (though Wright’s death has put paid to any further talk of a reunion, and Gilmour, in particular, has said that their latest album, The Endless River, will be their last). And even Gilmour and Mason joined Waters on stage for a performance in London two years ago of his revived stage show of The Wall.

The album, on the other hand, has certainly endured. Like the Genesis album five years before it, The Wall is mad, stunning in places and awful in others, as all double concept prog rock albums should be. And while it may not be in the same league as some of the most vital albums of the last 40 or 50 years, The Wall stands up today as a piece of grand performance art, built around some of the best songs of Pink Floyd's entire career. And a large dose of melancholy.


Punk had set out to see off bands like the Floyd and yet, here they were, two years after punk’s last globules of phlegm had dried up, almost going the extra length to stick two fingers up to the Pistols, et al. And the fact that it was released on the cusp of 1980 meant that, like Abbey Road, Tommy, Let It Bleed and Nick Drake's Five Leaves Left, that bridged the 60s and the 70s, The Wall played a distinct role in ending the decade that had produced so much enduring music, before giving way to a decade that became arguably about a lot of over-produced froth.

In the world at large, The Wall also came about during a period of, at times, nerve-wracking instability: Thatcher in 10 Downing Street, Reagan in the White House, and Russian rhetoric warming up the Cold War. An album about alienation and political failure told through the eyes of a narcissist rock star was timely, even if it did come from one of the so-called dinosaurs.

Two weeks before The Wall was released, Pink Floyd delivered a prelude in the form of the controversial single Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2), which went to No.1 in the UK and became the nation's somewhat subversive Christmas No.1 for 1979. With the album being completed around the time that the former Tory education minister Margaret Thatcher became prime minister in the previous May, there was a delicious irony about school children - myself included - running around playgrounds singing “we don’t need no education”.

Perhaps, though, even more subversive was the song’s 4/4 disco beat. Prog rock is best known for its obscure time signatures and epic single tracks, but with disco still in vogue in 1979, some were even fooled into thinking the Floyd had sold out and gone down the Rolling Stones/Rod Stewart/ELO route.

They hadn’t, it was just that producer Bob Ezrin had seen the potential for a single. To say Gilmour wasn’t a fan of the idea is putting it mildly, but Pink Floyd ended up with the distinction of Britain entering 1980 with, as it’s No.1 single, a disco song from a prog rock band with its roots in 1960s psychedelic wigouts. I don’t think it gets any more bonkers than that.

Another Brick In The Wall (Part 2)’s deceptive infectiousness drew in audiences to the The Wall and its not so deceptive darkness, and it is the total work that commands assessment.

One of the problems with concept records is that it is often hard to work out what the concept was to begin with. Pet Sounds, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, even Frank Sinatra’s Wee Small Hours Of The Morning all carry some sort of narrative thread. But with The Wall - and through its stylistic mish-mash that ranges from the broad rock of In The Flesh to the theatrical, Lionel Bart-esque nature of The Trial - the thread of the darker areas of Waters’ psyche is never far away.

As pretty as it is, with Gilmour’s acoustic guitar, Goodbye Blue Sky is a heartfelt and profoundly painful reference to the war that took Waters' father from him; Nobody Home brilliantly conjours the image of rock star on the verge of madness ("I've got nicotine stains on my fingers/I've got a silver spoon on a chain/I've got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains/I've got wild staring eyes/And I've got a strong urge to fly/But I got nowhere to fly to") while Hey You peers beyond the brink of insanity. Comfortably Numb - essentially a cut-and-shunt between a Waters song and something Gilmour had been working on for a solo album - creates, ultimately, the greatest Pink Floyd track of their career, blending light and dark as it jumps between childhood memories and a hazy present, while also featuring one of rock's greatest ever guitar solos.

There has never been any doubt as to whose album The Wall is, but it has provided a substantial amount of material for the post-Waters Floyd, including Gilmour's own solo performances, of which Comfortably Numb has always been a high watermark.

Waters, though, has made it a more personal legacy. Two years ago, when I saw The Wall show at the Stade de France - with its staggering staging eclipsing that of any previous productions -  it was clear that Waters still found the work to be a useful outlet for his anger, modifying its 1970s politics to embrace Israel and Palestine, Iraq and Afghanistan, corporate excess and even the shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes.

© Simon Poulter 2014

"All those years ago when I wrote this piece," Waters told Billboard magazine in 2012, "I thought it was about me, and about feelings that I had about my Dad being killed at Anzio [in Italy during World War II], how much I missed him, and the fact that I'd made some really poor choices in relationships with women - all of that crap. Which it was."

And he added: "But in the intervening 33 years, I've realized that...the power of the metaphor lends the story a much more universal vision and appeal. So I've come to realize it's not about me. It's about anybody that has suffered the loss of a loved one in some kind of conflict, whether it be war or something else. It's about the problems we all face with errant authority, or all the difficulties we all have in relationships with one another, whether they're sexual relationships or political/international relationships."

Waters is 71 now and a little mellower. But not much. "Some people have been asking Laurie, my wife, about a new album I have coming out in November," Waters wrote on Facebook ahead of Gilmour and Mason releasing The Endless River.

"Errhh?" he continued. "I don't have an album coming out, they are probably confused. David Gilmour and Nick Mason have an album coming out. It's called Endless River. David and Nick constitute the group Pink Floyd. I on the other hand, am not part of Pink Floyd. I left Pink Floyd in 1985, that's 29 years ago. I had nothing to do with either of the Pink Floyd studio albums, Momentary Lapse of Reason and The Division Bell, nor the Pink Floyd tours of 1987 and 1994, and I have nothing to do with Endless River. Phew! This is not rocket science people, get a grip." So that's us told.



SPECTRE: We've been expecting you

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For a supposed secret agent, 007 has been living firmly in the spotlight for the last 52 years of his film career. Through 23 'official' films we have gladly suspended disbelief as the world's most successful, enduring and - let's just agree on this now - coolest movie character has introduced himself as "Bond, James Bond", Notably, not one of those he's confronted has replied "Yeah, I know. I've seen your poster."

But let's avoid letting daylight in on magic: ever since Albert 'Cubby' Broccoli and Harry S. Saltzman formed Eon Productions in 1961 to make Dr. No, everything to do with Bond as a cinematic 'product' has been a slick, well-oiled operation.

Today's efficient, if brief, launch event of the 24th film - to be called SPECTRE - was a perfect example of the power of the Bond brand, and the efficient process to get the films up and running.

It has become standard operating procedure for Eon - now run by Barbara Broccoli and her half-brother Michael G. Wilson - to launch the new Bond film with a press conference, setting the clock ticking on its eventual release ten months later (October 23 in the UK, November 6 in the US and elsewhere), with seven months' photography starting immediately (next Monday, in SPECTRE's case), and with editing and post-production finalised according to a schedule as sharp as Bond's perfectly cut Brioni suits.

So, what do we actually know about SPECTRE from today's press event? Well, not a lot. Just enough to whet the appetite without knowing much more. Daniel Craig will return for his fourth outing as 007; Ralph Fiennes will make his full debut as the new 'M'; Naomie Harris returns to play the decidedly unsecretarial Eve Moneypenny, along with Ben Whishaw as the geeky Q, and Rory Kinnear as Tanner.

To no-one’s surprise, and everyone’s delight, Cristoph Waltz will apparently play a character called Oberhauser. Curiously, in Bond's back story, the Austrian ski instructor Hans Oberhauser was his mentor and a sort of father figure at Fettes School...until he mysteriously disappeared. Inevitably such ambiguity has led to rumours than this is a cover for Waltz reprising the character of Bond's ultimate villain, Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Naming the film after Bond's traditional nemesis organisation doesn't help quell the speculation, either. But after Blofelds past (Telly Savalas, Charles Gray and Donald Pleasance) have been so brilliantly lampooned, especially by Mike Myers in the Austin Powers films (something Craig has willingly acknowledged), Waltz as a bald, cat-stroking, Nehru-suited Blofeld might be a credibility stretch, even for a Bond film.



There were other surprises in Sam Mendes' fleeting press launch this morning at Pinewood Studios. First, he unveiled the "non-human" star of SPECTRE - the new Aston Martin DB10. Most new cars''reveal' moments occur at motor shows, but such is the strength of Bond's association with the marque, today's unveiling at the SPECTRE launch was an inspired piece of product placement.

Mendes also introduced cast members who weren't on the horizon of the Bond rumour sites, including Irish actor Andrew Scott - hitherto the brilliantly unhinged Moriarty to Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes; the splendidly vampish Italian actress Monica Bellucci; and rising French star Léa Seydoux, who already has a number of major titles under her 29-year-old belt, including Inglourious Basterds (opposite Waltz), Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol and a Palme d'Or-winning appearance in the acclaimed Blue Is the Warmest Colour.

Behind the camera, SPECTRE will have Skyfall writers Neal Purvis and Robert Wade, along with John Logan, linking up with Mendes, who turned Skyfall into a modern classic in the Bond series. Dutch-Swedish cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema - fresh from Christopher Nolan's Interstellar takes over from Skyfall's Roger Deakins.

As much as this morning's SPECTRE press conference went some way to satisfy Bond fans' excitement about the 24th film, plenty of gaps were quite deliberately left open, especially the plot. Even piecing together bits of information, such as known filming locations (sets have been seen being constructed in Obertilliach in Austria, while Mendes confirmed shoots in London, Rome, Mexico City and Tangier, as well as on the 007 soundstage of Pinewood Studios in the UK) gives us little more than scraps of circumstantial information..


From a story point of view, Daniel Craig has, himself, suggested in an interview with MI6 Confidential magazine that "If Blofeld turned up again, it wouldn't be a bad thing", but also hinted that the page is attractively blank - the 24th film doesn't need to complete a story arc from Skyfall in the way Quantum Of Solace kind of completed the Casino Royale story.

"The world's weird," Craig said, "and there's plenty we can start mining and taking out." Perhaps they might like to start with cybersecurity: online wags have suggested that a hack of the computer network of Sony Pictures, which distributes the Bond films, was possibly carried out by North Korea in retaliation of an as yet-to-be-released Sony film, The Interview. Surely that's a mission for 007, right there?
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